Walking a Mile
by JantoFan
Summary: Vince and Noel both have accidents. Can their friends work out what happened before it's too late? Rating upped to 'T' for language, just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Boosh, that belongs to Noel and Julian. Nor do I own Noel Fielding or Julian Barratt, but I wish I did :)**

**I dont know how to write for Noel and Julian, so i just wrote them kind of like less extreme versions of Howard and Vince. i also have no idea whether they share the views i have made them express here, but i like to think they do.**

* * *

Noel was putting the finishing touches to his hair when he heard the doorbell ring. Grinning, he got up and ran to the door, pulling it open. "Alright Ju? I'll just be a couple of minutes, yeah?"

Julian looked at his friend. He looked fine. "Why? You need to put more makeup on, or fetch your handbag?"

"Fuck off." Noel said, smiling to show he wasn't serious.

"Dee not coming?" asked Julian.

"No, she said she didn't feel well." Noel grabbed his coat and hat and put them on. "Ok, ready, let's go."

The two friends set off down the street towards the main road, headed for the pub.

"You had any more thoughts on the movie?" Asked Julian as they walked. Noel grinned.

"Yeah! I've come up with a couple of ideas; I think they could work really well!"

"And they are…?"

"I'll tell you in the pub. Otherwise I'll just have to go over it all again when Mike arrives and I really can't be arsed."

"Fair enough."

They had reached the river now, glistening slightly under the night's sky. Looking at it suddenly made Noel feel very dizzy, and he shut his eyes tight to try and clear his head. "Noel? You alright mate?"

"Fine, yeah. I just…" he suddenly swayed alarmingly on the spot. "I think I'm gonna be sick." He said quietly. He ran over to the edge and leaned over the inky black water retching.

"Shit. You want to go home? We can do this another time."

"Yeah, cheers Ju. Would you call…" suddenly a wave of dizziness overcame him, and the next thing he knew he was hurtling towards the water.

"NOEL!" he heard his friend's urgent cry, but he couldn't respond. _My hair's gonna be ruined, _he thought, before the blackness claimed him.

* * *

"Hey Howard?"

Howard turned to look at Vince. "What is it little man?"

"Do you think cavemen ate strawberry bootlaces?"

Howard closed his eyes impatiently. He had made Vince come down to the museum with him, and now Vince had become fascinated with the past. This would normally be a good thing, except all Vince's thoughts revolved around sweets, Topshop or Gary Numan, none of which were remotely relevant to his chosen subject. "I've told you, Vince. They weren't invented then."

"So when were they invented? Whoever thought up strawberry bootlaces must have been genius. I…" Vince paused and blinked suddenly. They were standing next to the river, and looking at the moon's reflection in it had suddenly made Vince feel ill.

"Vince?" He looked up into Howard's concerned face and tried to grin.

"I'm fine Howard. Really. I'm just tired."

"Ok little man." Howard looked unconvinced, so Vince grinned at him again and bounced off, trying to ignore the rising nausea in his stomach.

"You're probably hungry." Howard suggested. "All you've had to eat today are sweets. You need proper food, Vince. Rice. Pasta. That sort of thing. Food which has never seen sugar before in its life!"

The lack of sarcastic comment in reply made Howard turn. He couldn't see Vince anywhere. "Vince?" no reply. "Vince!!"

He looked around frantically. He had only taken his eyes off the little electro poof for a minute, where the hell could he have gone? Then he noticed the ripples in the river, and a bedraggled feather boa floating just beneath the surface. Vince had fallen in!

* * *

Julian sat in the chair beside his friend's hospital bed, his face ashen with worry. The fire brigade and ambulance had arrived quickly and had managed to locate Noel in impressive time, but his friend had still been underwater for nearly 10 minutes. By some miracle, when they pulled him out he had still had a heartbeat, so the Doctor's weren't too worried. Their main concern was that he might have caught something from the water. He had swallowed quite a lot of it. He lowered his head, unable to look at his friends face anymore, not when it was so much paler then normal…he looked up sharply when he heard a cough, and saw the younger man was waking up. He opened his eyes and stared at Julian, eyes blank. For one terrible second Julian thought he didn't see him, but then recognition flickered in the big blue eyes, and he relaxed against the pillows.

"You alright? What happened?"

"You slipped or something. Fell into the river."

"Oh." he paused. "Am I alright?"

"The doctors say you should be fine, provided you didn't catch some infection from the water."

"Is my hair ok?" Julian looked at his friend, wondering if he was joking.

"Err…yeah. Its fine mate, don't worry."

The younger man smiled and closed his eyes, as though going back to sleep. The next second he jerked them open again and looked at Julian. "Do you have any sweets?"

"Sweets? You nearly drown and you want sweets??"

He shrugged. "I'm hungry. And I like sweets!"

Shaking his head at his friend's love of sugar, Julian rooted around in his bag. He was sure he had…ah yes, there it was. He pulled out a packet of Woolworths gummy laces and held them out.

"Mike's on his way. He's called Dee, so you don't have to worry."

"Oh." a frown appeared on the pale face.

"You need to be more careful Noel. Maybe not hang over deep water if you think you're going to faint, yeah?" Julian chuckled.

The other man chewed a strawberry bootlace thoughtfully, watching Julian with a puzzled frown on his face.

"Who's Noel?"

* * *

Noel groaned as he fought back into consciousness. He could feel something in his throat, gagging him. Was he dead? He thrashed out, trying to tear whatever it was out of his throat.

"It's ok; it's ok, calm down." Julian. Ok, not dead then. He felt arms grab his wrists and pull them away from his mouth. "You're in hospital; they put a tube down your throat to help you breathe. I'll go get someone to take it out."

A few seconds later he returned with a couple of doctors. Noel gagged and coughed as the tube was pulled out of his burning throat. It felt good to be able to breathe again.

"What happened little man?"

Noel shrugged. "I felt dizzy. I guess I must have fallen in."

"Had you been drinking?"

"Fuck off! You know I hadn't you were right there, you knob."

The other man blinked a hurt expression on his face. "There's no need for that."

Noel frowned. He'd only meant it as a joke; they always said things like that to each other. Why was Julian taking it so seriously? "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you mate."

"That's ok." An awkward silence fell. Noel closed his eyes, hoping to clear the slight headache he still had.

"Naboo and Bollo are here. They wanted to check you were alright."

Noel opened one eye and looked at his friend. "I'm not really in the mood, yeah?"

He seemed to take this at face value. "Ok, I'll tell them to go away."

"Has Mike called my mum?" Noel asked suddenly. She would be worried sick if she knew he'd had an accident.

"Your…mum?"

Noel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you know. Medium height, dark hair, called Diane? Ringing any bells?"

"You don't have parents. You were brought up in the forest by Brian Ferry, remember?"

"Look, Julian, no offense but I said I'm not in the mood, yeah?"

"I think I'll go and get Naboo…" he opened the door and beckoned in a small man in robes and someone in a gorilla suit. Noel smiled weakly.

"You alright Mike? Dave? How come you're dressed like that?"

The tiny 'shaman' exchanged a startled look with Julian.

"Vince? What're you talking about you ball-bag? I'm Naboo, that's who."

"Yeah, ok Mike. Quit pissing around, it's not funny."

"What has happened to precious Vince?" the gorilla said, pushing himself over to stand by the bed.

"Dave, what're you on about? Stop calling me Vince, this isn't funny. I don't…" he stopped, his eyes scanning the eyes in front of him. _Those were not Dave's eyes!_ He looked at the face, trying desperately to see where the costume ended and Dave began, but he couldn't see the join. He reached out a hand to touch the fur. It felt warm. It felt_ alive. _"Oh, shit." Noel muttered. And passed out.

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Don't know when I'll be updating this one, coz I already have two stories on the go and a load of exam revision to do! The idea just came to me so I thought I'd write it down before I forgot it. Should I continue? Reviews are loved as always.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, here's the next update! Sorry it's taken so long, I am a slave to my exam revision :(**

**Big huggles to ****everyone who's reviewed so far!**

**(If anyone gets confused about who's POV their reading or whatever, tell me! I need to know if i gotta make improvements to my style!)**

**Disclaimer: any views expressed by the characters, especially regarding the NHS, are not necessarily really their views. But they might be mine. Also, i do not own Life on Mars.**

* * *

Julian looked up as Mike came hurrying down the hospital corridor towards him.

"How is he?" he asked, face slightly paler than usual.

Julian hesitated. "…Not good. They're sending him up for an MRI; they think he must have hit his head or something. He…He thinks he's Vince. Keeps calling me Howard and asking for Naboo."

Mike sat down on one of the thin plastic chairs. "Shit. Do they know why?"

"No. they're hoping the MRI will turn something up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince was very confused. He could understand why he was in hospital, and why they'd taken his clothes away to be replaced by a loose fitting gown (he wasn't happy about it, but he understood.) What he didn't understand was why none of the nurses would meet his gaze, or why they kept calling him Noel, even though he told them he was Vince. Maybe they all had very short memories? But that still didn't explain why Howard was calling him Noel too…

He looked up as the door opened and Howard walked in, followed by a tiny man Vince didn't recognise, who grinned shakily at him.

"Alright, bruv?" he said. Vince looked at him, confused by the familiarity of the greeting. Who was he? His eyes widened as he suddenly recognised the face.

"Naboo! What've you done to your _hair_? Where's Bollo?" to his surprise, neither man answered him, just smiled at him as thought he were a cute puppy who was nonetheless known to attack and kill. "Why are you looking at me funny?" he asked, eating another strawberry bootlace.

"Noel…"

"Vince."

The-man-who-looked-like-Naboo glanced at Howard, who shook his head.

"Noel." He said firmly. "You have to think. You are not Vince, Julian is not Howard, and I am NOT Naboo."

"What're you on about?" Vince was getting seriously alarmed now. Had they all gone crazy?

"You had an accident. You remember that, yeah?"

"Yeah. The river. I fell in."

"Exactly. You must have hit your head, because you aren't Vince. Come on, you need to think. Don't you remember me? Mum? Dad? Dee? Anything?"

Vince frowned at him. It was true that nothing was how he had expected it to be, but what this guy was saying couldn't be true. He was Vince Noir, rock and roll star. He remembered his life. It had to be real. Didn't it?

* * *

"What do you think's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. It would help more if he was awake, we could talk to him…"

It was a dream. It had to have been a dream. He'd fallen in the river and woken up surrounded by fictional characters. But he was awake now. Those voices he could hear talking, that was Julian and Mike. Not Naboo and Howard, because that would be crazy.

Noel cautiously opened his eyes and looked around, heart sinking when he realised nothing had changed. He yelped when he realised the gorilla was sitting next to him, and scooted to the other side of the bed.

"Vince! Vince calm down! It's Bollo! It's only Bollo, he won't hurt you!"

"No. That is not Bollo! Bollo is Dave in an ape suit. THAT," Noel said hysterically, pointing at the ape, "is a fucking actual gorilla. Get it the hell away from me, what is wrong with you?!" he saw a look exchange between Mike and Julian _(or was it Naboo and Howard?) _"And stop acting like I'm crazy! This is ridiculous; you're having me on, yeah?"

"Vince, look at me."

"Stop calling me Vince! My name is Noel. Vince is fiction, he's a character…" Noel looked desperately into the faces peering at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Vince, what're you on about? Who's Noel?" Howard turned to look anxiously at the tiny shaman. "Can't you do something?"

"Dunno. I'll summon the shaman council."

Howard frowned. He (and especially Vince) knew what the shaman council were capable of when riled. "Over this? Won't they be angry?"

"Nah." Naboo lowered his head and closed his eyes. Howard could see Vince watching, confused.

"What the hell is he doing?" he asked.

"Shh." Howard shushed him.

Suddenly, Naboo lifted his head and grinned. "Right. That's sorted, they're on their way. I promised them a load of Es."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Noel buried his face underneath one of the pillows. This couldn't be happening; it had to be a joke, surely? This sort of thing just didn't happen in real life. But then again, it had been going on a bit too long to be a joke…

"This had better be good, Naboo." Noel took the pillow off his face and stared.

"Richard?"

Standing in the doorway was who appeared to be Richard Ayoade, but in his full 'Saboo' costume. And in his hands…

"No fucking way." Noel breathed. "Tell me that is animatronics…"

Because he appeared to be carrying Tony Harrison.

"How dare you?" the head spoke in a familiar, nasally voice. "Animatronics? I'll have you know I'm a fully organic being. This is an outrage!"

"Shut it, you stupid cleft." 'Saboo' snapped.

"Guys, please?" Mike (_Naboo?)_ told them. "We need help with Vince?" they all turned to look at Noel, who was still staring transfixed at the tentacled head.

"What's his problem?" asked Tony Harrison.

"He doesn't think he's Vince…"

Noel managed to find his voice. "That's coz I'm _not_ Vince! Vince is a character in a TV show! I play him! And that's Tony Harrison…"

"So?"

"So?! So, he's _me! _Look at him, for crying out loud! It's_ me! _I play Tony Harrison! I thought him up!"

'Julian' and 'Mike' exchanged a look. "Right…so…you play Vince, and you also play a head with tentacles? How exactly?"

"Green screen..."

"No-one can just invent me! I am a unique individual!" The pink head said, proudly.

"Oh really?" Noel switched to his 'Tony Harrison' voice. "Watch what you say to me, you slag! I'll give you the back of me tentacle if you're not careful!"

The room fell silent, everyone turning to stare at him. 'Julian' spoke up. "How did you…?"

He was interrupted by Dennis the head shaman coming in. "Ah, Naboo. What is it this time?" he noticed Noel sitting up in bed. "A problem with the young woman?"

Noel knew he should probably be offended, but he couldn't. All he could do was stare in amazement between 'Dennis' and 'Howard'. _They're both Julian! How the hell is this possible?!_

"What…but…how are you doing that?"

'Howard' frowned in confusion. "What?"

"That! You and him! You're the same person, I…" Noel slumped in defeat. He could just about convince himself that it really was his best mate and his brother having a joke on him (albeit one that involved an actual gorilla and a very expensive animatronics head). However, even he couldn't convince himself they had found an exact double of Julian, or perfected cloning.

"Ok." He looked at the party surrounding him, thinking hard. "Ok. I must be in a coma, it's the only logical explanation." He looked up at 'Naboo' and 'Howard' who were watching him closely. "Because that's the only way you can be here. Yeah, that's it. I must have hit my head and ended up here. Like in 'Life on Mars'! Only instead of the seventies, I've ended up in the Boosh!" he gulped and looked at the gorilla. "I think maybe I might have preferred the seventies."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Howard blinked, confused. "What're you on about, Vince? What's David Bowie got to do with anything?"

"Hold on, Howard." Naboo told him. "Head Shaman, can you read his aura?"

"That's why you called me? Naboo, why can't you use your own shamanistic gifts I bestowed upon you?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Oh yeah. Sorry. I'm a bit high."

Naboo turned to look at the man on the bed, and frowned. "Head Shaman, what colour does that look to you?"

He looked. "Oh, I don't know. Orangey-red. Maybe a bit of dark blue."

"That's what I thought."

Howard was completely baffled. "So?"

"So; Vince is more light pink and yellow." Naboo frowned in bewilderment at him. "Whoever that is, it's not Vince."

* * *

Julian sat out in the hallway again, staring at the ceiling and trying to drink a cup of vending-machine coffee, which in fact tasted more like dirty water. He looked around when Mike sat next to him. "What did they say?"

"They can't find a single medical reason for his thinking he's Vince. They're discharging him."

"What?!" Julian was appalled. "They can't do that! He's not well!"

"Apparently they need the bed. They said they don't care who he is, there is no medical reason for him to remain in hospital. They want him to come back every few days to see a psychiatrist."

"So now what? We just take him home?"

"I guess so."

Julian felt disgusted. So this was what the NHS had become? Just turfing someone who potentially had brain damage because nothing came up on their scans? Maybe they should check him into a private hospital? But then again, surrounding him with familiar things might jog his memory, bring him back. "Ok then." He said. "Let's take him home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince stared, fascinated, out of the car window. There were so many cars! He'd never seen the streets so busy! He couldn't wait to get back to the flat, he felt sure his hair must look awful, no matter what Howard said. Maybe that was why the nurses hadn't looked at him, because his hair was bad? That made sense. He frowned as they pulled into an unfamiliar street, and turned to look at Howard. "Where are we?"

The older man grinned nervously at him. "You're home, Noel. This is your house, remember?"

Vince looked in puzzlement at the house before them. "But we don't live in a house! We live in a flat above the Nabootique!"

"No, Vince and Howard live in a flat above the Nabootique. You live there."

Completely baffled now, Vince allowed himself to be led up the path and into the house. It was pretty genius actually, the décor was definitely something he would do himself. He picked up a photo from a small table in the hall. It showed him with his arm around a brunette woman. Vince thought she looked kind of familiar. She reminded him of Neon. Or was it Ultra? One of the two anyway. They were both grinning into the camera, looking slightly drunk.

"Who's she?"

The other man peered at the picture. "That's Dee. Your girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Julian opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again. It wouldn't do to bombard Noel with too much information, it probably wasn't good for him "Never mind, eh? Let's just have a look around." He really hoped Dee wasn't still there. When Mike had rung and told her what had happened, she had agreed to stay with friends for a while. It had been decided that, as Noel thought he was Vince, he would have no idea who she was as she didn't have a recurring character in the Boosh. They didn't want to scare him.

He watched as his friend walked around the spacious kitchen, opening all the cupboards. He was acting like a kid. _Or like Vince…_ Julian thought. Why had they made Vince so…simple? This might have been easier if he had a bit more intelligence than his single brain cell.

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I'm really not too sure about this chapter, I wrote it in kind of a rush between revision sessions. Hopefully you still like it!

**Click the review button please, coz it makes me happy ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Whoo, I'm back! Exams are finally over! I can get back to updating my stuff, and reviewing everything people have written over the past 2 weeks! Anyway, here's (finally) another update! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Still don't own anything, i'll let you know if i ever do :)**

* * *

Noel felt his stomach jump into his mouth as the carpet began it's descent towards the Nabootique. Even though he was sure this was all in his head so nothing could _really _hurt him, it didn't stop him feeling slightly dizzy at the thought that the only thing between him and a 50 foot drop was less than half an inch of carpet. He was also feeling slightly annoyed, because Howard kept poking him. "Do you mind? I thought you weren't meant to like touching people?"

Howard blushed. "Sorry. It's just…you are so much like Vince."

"Well I did style him on me…"

Howard frowned slightly. "You keep saying that. What exactly do you mean when you say you 'play' us on TV?"

Noel was interrupted from answering when the carpet pulled to a stop outside. "Everyone off!" Naboo ordered cheerfully.

Noel stared. It was exactly the same as The Nabootique from the show. Only this was real; a real shop in a real street. "My imagination must be good!" he murmured to himself as he gazed at it. "When I do wake up, I am gonna have some _excellent _ideas. I may never have writers block again!" he followed them inside, eager to look at the flat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sorry, can you go over this one more time?" Howard asked, frowning.

Noel sighed. Howard could be bloody infuriating sometimes. _When I wake up, I'll have to talk to Ju about making him a little more…I dunno. Normal._

"I'm Noel Fielding. I created the Mighty Boosh. Which in my world is a Radio show, a TV series, and a soon-to-be film."

"And this shows our lives."

"Well, yeah. You and Vince, you're like; the stars!"

Howard made a funny little spasm in Naboo's direction. "Vince! Oh God, I forgot all about him! Where the hell is he?!"

"Calm down, Howard. He's probably switched places with Noel. How, I have no idea."

Noel grinned. He wished this was real, just coz that would mean Vince was back home, probably driving Julian mad.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this!" Howard snapped.

"What's your problem?"

"Oh, I don't know; you just told me that you created us and expect me to be ok with that?! I'm Howard Moon; I have a varied and rich history. I was not created 8 years ago by some little twat in heels!"

Noel's eyes widened. "Alright! Calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down, sir! How much control do you and your friend have over us, exactly?!" Howard asked angrily. Noel considered this, still slightly taken aback following Howard's outburst.

"Well, um, I dunno really. From what Naboolio here told me, it seems like you follow our scripts. But then again things have happened which weren't in the scripts at all. Which to me is totally genius! I could use some of this stuff when I wake up!"

Howard frowned at the oddity of this comment, but decided to let it pass. If Noel had created Vince, then it seemed likely he would be just as weird and random.

"It does make sense." Naboo said slowly. Howard gaped at him.

"What?!"

"There's a theory about stuff like this. That ideas can create new worlds where the fantasy is, in fact, reality."

"So, what, you're telling me all this is fiction?!"

"No. Not anymore, their fiction has become our reality, so to speak. Of course, it could be the other way around. You know, our reality has seeped into their world, so their fiction is based on us. No way of knowing really."

Howard wasn't sure if Naboo was making that up to make him feel better, but he liked that theory much better so he decided to stick with that.

* * *

"But that's us!"

Julian went over to see what his friend was pointing at. Pinned to the notice board in the kitchen was what appeared to be a still from one of the zoo episodes.

"Yeah, that's us…" he said slowly.

"But you just said we were never at the zoo! I knew you were just bein' a freak…"

"That's from the show."

"Why do you keep saying that? What show?"

Julian sighed. He wasn't sure if he should show him the DVDs of the show, but he couldn't think of any other way to try and convince him it was all fake.

"Come on. I'll show you."

The other man looked faintly surprised when Julian took his hand, but he ignored it. He put in the disk and turned to where the younger man was sat on the sofa, watching him curiously. "What're we watching?"

"The television series. The first one, from the zoo."

Vince blinked when the red curtain appeared on the screen, and Howard and Vince appeared on screen introducing the show. "That is just genius!" he exclaimed, not fully comprehending yet what he was watching. The title music came on. "That sounds like you!"

"It is me."

"Oh." he paused. "That polo design is genius. I love polo's."

"You came up with that."

"What're you on about? No I…" he broke off with a frown of confusion as the gates to the zoo appeared on screen. "Why're we watchin' the zoo?"

"Just watch…"

And then Howard and Vince walked onto the screen, Howard complaining about seed distribution or something, Vince wasn't really listening. He perked up when they started discussing the 'Charlie' books, but then frowned. "How are we watching this?" he asked slowly. "We shouldn't be able to watch this, it wasn't being taped…"

"It was all taped, mate. Like I said; it's a TV show."

"No…no, it's not…" Vince couldn't understand this. He knew his life was real; he'd been living it for long enough. But this…none of this made sense. Everyone was acting weird; Howard wasn't acting like himself at all… Vince turned to the side and pulled a little face. "Has the whole world gone mad?" he turned back to the older man. "What're you on about?" he noticed he was looking at him strangely. "What?"

"What were you just doing?"

"Huh?"

"You were just talking…" Julian frowned at him, curiously. "Did you just break the fourth wall when there aren't any cameras?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just then. You looked away from me and said 'Has the whole world gone mad?' Why did you do that?"

"I dunno, I just…I mean, I always…" Vince honestly didn't know what to say. He had always done that; looked over to one side and spoken to no-one. Everyone did, it was normal, wasn't it? "Howard?"

"I keep telling you, mate." He said, gently. "I'm not Howard."

Vince stepped forwards and looked at him; really looked at him. The face was Howard's, the eyes looking back at him were the same as always…but there was something slightly…off. The hair was still scruffy, but almost stylishly so rather than the unkempt mop Howard liked to keep on top of his head. The body language was different too; he seemed much more relaxed than Howard did. "You're not Howard, are you?" he said quietly.

The other man looked relieved about something. "No. I'm Julian."

"Julian?"

"Yeah!"

"So…where's Howard? How come you look like him?"

Julian sighed, and Vince got the distinct impression he'd said something wrong and disappointed him.

"You should get some sleep, Noel. Maybe in the morning you'll be able to remember more."

It was only later, once he was in bed and could hear Julian's snores from the guest room, that Vince realised Julian had called him 'Noel'. Who the hell was he, and why did everyone think Vince was him?

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything!**

* * *

Noel was woken up the next morning by the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen. he kept his eyes shut for a while, clinging onto the hope that maybe somehow he would be back in his own house; and that person in the kitchen was Dee, or maybe Mike.

This was short-lived, however, because as soon as he cracked an eye open he saw that he was definitely still in the Boosh flat, and the person in the kitchen was Howard.

"Alright?"

Howard almost jumped out of his skin, and swung around to face Noel. "Oh. You're awake."

"Yeah. Hi." He gave a little wave.

"Hi." Howard looked incredibly awkward. "Listen, about yesterday…"

"It's fine. I don't know how I'd feel if I was told my world was created by someone writing a story; I should expect the same reaction from you."

"Yeah, well."

"Naboo and Bollo gone out?"

"Yeah."

Noel breathed a sigh of relief. He knew Bollo wouldn't hurt him, but all the same…it was one thing to act with your mate in a suit; quite another to sit next to an actual talking gorilla. Who was probably strong enough to crush you. Not exactly the most comforting of thoughts.

"So… what do I do today then?"

"What would you normally do?"

Noel shrugged. "I dunno really. Try and come up with new ideas for the Boosh. Hang out with my girlfriend, or my mates. Not really stuff I can do here, is it?"

"Well. I need to open up the shop, so…"

Noel suddenly got a very excited grin on his face. "Ooh, can I come help?"

"Really?"

"Yeah! It'd me genius, imagine me working in the Nabootique!"

Howard looked at him for a few seconds. "You have no idea how strange it is to hear Vince's voice saying work would be 'genius'."

Noel just grinned. He would never have thought in a million years that he would be excited about working in a shop. He wondered if he would have the same entrepreneurial knack that he and Julian had given Vince.

* * *

Julian woke up to the very unnerving sensation of hearing himself talking. It took him a few seconds to realise that he could hear a Boosh episode playing, and a few more seconds to realise that this meant his friend was up and watching them on his own.

"Shit." He muttered, dragging himself out of bed and walking bleary-eyed into the living room. The room was bathed in darkness, the only source of light were the flickering images on the TV screen. He could see a hunched figure sat in front of the TV, skip-watching the episode. He would watch for several seconds, then fast-forward for a while, then watch again. Over and over.

"Noel?"

The man spun his head round and instantly jumped to his feet.

XXXXXXXX

"Who the hell **are** you?" Vince asked, real fear evident in his voice.

Julian frowned. He could tell he would have to tread carefully here. "Noel…"

"No! Where am I, what have you done to me? What, are you stalking me, is that it? How the hell do you have this stuff on tape?!"

Julian glanced at the screen. The frozen picture showed Howard standing on the roof, clutching the chimney for support. He recognised it as just after the kiss scene in 'Party'.

"Noel, hey, try and calm down, yeah? Now listen to me; I keep trying to tell you, this isn't real. Howard and Vince, they're just made up! Look, why don't you calm down, and I'll make you some tea or something, ok?"

"I'm not drinking anything! I don't understand, I am real, I…" he clutched his hair, his face contorted so he looked slightly mad. "I remember my life! I remember it! I remember walking in on my mum after she killed herself when I was 3! I watched it destroy my dad until I was sent away to live with Brian when I was 7. I had my first kiss was with Alice Sanderson when I was 13 behind the caretaker's cottage at school. I left school when I was 16 to go and work in the zoo! I _remember _all that! I didn't make it up, or read about it, or see it on the telly, I remember it! So I am real! And I don't…" his voice faltered, and his eyes filled suddenly with tears. "I want to see Howard!"

XXXXXXXX

Julian watched him with the strangest expression on his face. _This is insane. _He thought. _I cannot seriously be thinking this! _Because a small part of him, right at the back of his mind, believed the younger man.

* * *

Howard couldn't help smiling as he watched Noel sat behind the counter. The younger man was looking around him with an expression of complete delight. It had been a busy day so far (the shop had been open 3 hours and they'd already had 2 customers!) and so far Noel had proved to be just as good at charming the customers as his alter-ego. Howard felt a pang of anxiety as he thought about Vince. He couldn't imagine what he must be going through; trapped in Noel's world. Would he understand what had happened? Worse; would everyone else? He and Naboo had the advantage of living in a world of magic; but Noel's world was very much a world of science. And therefore this sort of thing would not be accepted.

"Howard? You ok mate?"

He looked up to see Noel watching him, curiously. "Fine. I'm just thinking about, you know, Vince. I hope he's ok…"

"I'm sure he's ok. After all, he does have my charm doesn't he?" Noel smiled sympathetically, trying his best to reassure the older man. _Why though? _He wondered. _This is in my head; Vince is about as likely to be talking to Ju as I am to win a heavyweight boxing match! _When watching Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes on the telly, Noel had always assumed that he wouldn't be like that; that he'd know they were in his head and act accordingly. But it all seemed so real; and basic human instinct was making him act like these were real people…

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Won't be updating for a while now as am off on holiday! Hopefully will have lots more to read and review by next week lol. Reviews are love xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Dedicated to everyone who's reviewed! Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer: insert own joke about me not owning anything here. (I'm too tired to make one up.)**

* * *

Julian stared at the younger man in confusion, battling his own thoughts. He couldn't be believing this, could he? But his friend just seemed so…certain. And he'd just spouted off a load of things about Vince's life that he was certain Noel wouldn't have bothered to think up, unless it was related to a script. And a maternal suicide seemed very bleak to be thinking about putting into the Boosh…

He was shaken out of these strange musings by the doorbell ringing. Shooting a confused glance back at his friend, he went to answer the door.

"Mike. Hi."

"Hey Julian. How's he doing?"

"He's been watching DVDs of the Boosh. And now he's really freaked out, thinks I'm some sort of stalker. Listen though; I may be crazy but…"

"He doesn't think you're Howard anymore, then?" Mike sounded hopeful.

"No, but he does still think he's Vince," Julian said, gently. He wondered about telling Mike what he had been thinking, then thought better of it. No need to make the younger man worry that he was crazy too. "He just seems to think I've kidnapped him or something. Come through, maybe you can talk to him."

With a small groan, Mike followed the older man back through to the living room.

"Noel? Look who's here!"

Vince looked at the new arrival, and his eyes lit up. Then, almost as quickly, they narrowed in suspicion and dulled again. "You're not Naboo either, are you?"

"No. I'm Mike. How you feeling?"

"I'd feel better if someone would just tell me what the hell is going on! What is this, some sort of copy-cat thing? Can't you find anyone who looks like me? Why wont you let me go home?!"

Mike looked like he was about to cry. Julian took him gently by the arm and steered him out of the room. "Maybe we should leave him, hey?"

"You're probably right. Has he got a psychiatric appointment?"

"Not until tomorrow."

"You want me to watch him? You haven't been home in over 24 hours."

Julian hesitated. True, he would like to go home and see his family, change his clothes, etc. "Cheers Mike. I should only be a few hours, ok? Try and keep him calm."

Mike smiled weakly. "Sure."

Julian wondered about saying goodbye to Noel, then decided not to. "Bye." He said to Mike, then walked out the front door, closing it behind him.

Mike swallowed nervously and turned towards the sitting room. He had never thought he could feel apprehensive about spending time with his own brother.

* * *

Naboo walked through the front door to the shop, then frowned when he saw Noel sitting behind the counter. "What's he doing there?" he asked Howard, accusingly.

"He wanted to help out."

"What if something had happened? He wouldn't be covered by the insurance!"

Howard raised an eyebrow. "Naboo, you don't _have _insurance. You lost it for making false claims to get money for drugs, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Still though…"

Noel, who had been listening to this conversation, decided to join in. "come on, Naboo, it's been genius! I've sold loads! Even managed to shift two of those jazz records!"

Naboo and Howard both whipped their heads round to the dusty, gloomy corner of the shop where they kept the jazz records. Sure enough, there were two less than before.

"You managed to sell jazz?! Maybe you should work here more often!"

Howard frowned. "When did you sell those? I haven't been able to shift any for ages!"

"It was when you went to make tea, that second time when it was meant to be my turn but you volunteered to do it anyway. This young woman came in, God she was gorgeous. Long dark hair, big green eyes. Dressed a bit weird; too much brown and not enough accessories. And she said she absolutely adored jazz! But still, she was totally hot! Sold her the records for 100 Euros each! Oh, and she bought a couple of bookmarks as well."

Howard was staring at him in total disbelief. Noel grinned cheekily, then gulped and involuntarily stepped back as Bollo entered to shop. "Err…h-hey, Bollo."

"Hello Noel. Harold."

"Howard"

"Whatever."

Howard frowned after the retreating backs of the gorilla and the shaman. "Unbelievable! He's known you one day and he knows your name! Me; he's know for 10 years and he still doesn't know mine!"

* * *

"Hello? You guys in?" Julian called, letting himself back into Noel's with a key he'd borrowed from the front table.

"In here." He heard Mike call back. He followed the direction of the voice into the sitting room, where the two men were sat silently on different sofas. They might as well have had dust on them, Julian thought, it was so obvious they hadn't moved in a long time. "Is it alright if I head off now?" Mike asked. Julian wasn't sure if he was talking to him or Noel, but he nodded anyway.

"Sure. You going to come to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Cant mate, sorry. I'll come next time though, yeah? Will you call me after and let me know how it went?"

"Sure. See you."

Throwing a slightly guilty look behind him, Mike left the room. A few seconds later, Julian heard the door slam shut. He turned to his friend.

"So…you hungry?"

He just got a stony silence in return. "Come on, Noel, say something."

"Stop calling me that."

"Ok, ok." He thought for a minute. If he could only trigger some sort of memory… "What do you remember about the accident?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"You know, when you fell in the river."

"Me and you…umm, me and Howard had just been to the museum, it was totally genius. Did you know cavemen ate strawberry bootlaces? Anyway, we were next to the river and…"

"Hold on, museum? What museum?"

"You know, the big one, in town. Has these really genius statues in it."

Julian could feel the weird thoughts and feelings from this morning rising up inside him again. He knelt down so that he was at eye level with the younger man. He tried to think of a question to ask. Before he could think of anything however, the other man spoke up.

"When we go back to the hospital tomorrow, can I drive?"

"You don't know how to drive." Julian muttered distractedly.

"I do! I passed my test three weeks ago!"

Julian stared at him. The other man looked slightly indignant and annoyed.

"You can drive?"

"Yeah."

" Ok, answer me this. When should you use your hazard lights?"

"What?"

"Your hazard lights. When do you use them?"

"Why?"

"Answer the question, would you?"

"When you've broken down."

"Ok...You're driving in the rain and the car starts to skid out of control. Do you brake?"

The younger man looked at him nervously. "This is weird. What're you doing?"

"Do. You. Brake? Please answer the question, i need to know something..."

"What, whether to brake?" Vince attempted a joke, but found himself unable to laugh due to the confused, intense expression on the older man's face. "Ok, No. You should ease off the accelerator. Braking would just make it worse."

Julian gazed at the other man as he answered. This was seriously weird; he'd heard of people having new skills when they had had a head injury, but suddenly knowing how to drive? Julian wasn't even sure Noel knew which way round the brake and the accelerator peddles were…and then he knew, deep down in his stomach. He wasn't sure how, this was just too unbelievable. But he knew.

"Fuck!" he gasped, stumbling backwards and staring at the man in front of him with a mixture of disbelief and fear. "_Vince?!_"

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**Damn, I have totally lost my writing juju! I really need to get back into the habit of writing again, i'm finding updating really hard! Oh well, hopefully the writing i do do is still ok!**

**The review button is lonely! Go on, give 'im a poke to say hi!x**


	6. Chapter 6

**I just spent today watching all 20 episodes of The Mighty Boosh back-to-back, plus the Live 2006 show (I may have too much free time on my hands…), so I feel like writing it again! Yay! So here's (finally!) another update!**

**Enjoy!xx**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Nothing is mine, etc... Actually, the Loerron theory is mine. I have no idea if there is really a theory about this stuff (somehow i doubt it lol), but if there is i haven't heard of it.**

* * *

"No. No, this is crazy, this is…_Vince?! _You can't be Vince!"

Vince looked a bit alarmed. "What d'you mean? I told you I'm Vince!"

"But you can't be! No, this is way too…but still…oh my God!" he collapsed into the sofa, staring at Vince. "This is insane. _I'm _insane! You can't be Vince."

"Why?"

"Because I've been telling you the truth! Vince is a fictional character! But you're there. And real. How?! How can this be possible?! How can you be him?!"

But now that he'd realised; the more Julian looked at the man in front of him, the less he looked like Noel. He was still identical to him, but there were subtle differences. The body language for one; and there was something different about his eyes… No. as much as he may have wanted to believe otherwise; there was no way this man was Noel. So he must therefore be Vince. _Either that or I've gone completely mad _Julian thought. At this moment in time, he almost preferred the second theory.

* * *

"Noel!"

"What?"

"Come here!"

Noel sighed and got off the sofa, making his way down to the shop below. "What is it, Naboo?"

"We're going to see the Shaman council. See if they can come up with any ideas as to how to switch you and Vince back."

"Shaman council?" Noel shuddered as he remembered Tony Harrison. "No fucking way."

"You don't have a choice, yeah? Get on the carpet."

Noel tried desperately to come up with an excuse not to go, but he could think of none. So, reluctantly, he went outside to the carpet, where Howard and Bollo were already sat.

"Off we go!" Naboo said, jumping onto the carpet and raising it into the air. He turned to his familiar. "Bollo, did you remember the portable hookah?"

Noel reached down and gripped the edge of the carpet as tightly as he could.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You will never understand how weird this is." Noel muttered to Howard, staring fixedly at Tony Harrison. He felt the urge once again to touch his face, just to make sure his own head was still there.

"Do you mind?" the tentacled head said. "Why don't you just take a picture, it'll last longer!"

"Shut up you stupid cleft. No-one wants a picture of you!" snapped Saboo.

"It's not my fault! He's staring at me like I'm some sort of freak of nature!"

"You _are _a freak of nature Tony!"

"Saboo! Tony Harrison! Please!" Dennis turned to Naboo, Howard, Bollo and Noel. "Why have you come here, Naboo the Enigma?"

"We need your help getting Vince back. And sending Noel home."

"How did this switch come to pass?"

"Noel?" Naboo glanced at the man next to him. But Noel wasn't listening. His attention had been captured by the green female shaman to the right of Dennis. The one who looked so much like his mother. He swallowed, suddenly feeling more homesick than he had previously. "Noel!"

"Huh?" he jerked his focus back to Naboo.

"How did the switch happen?"

"I dunno. Me and Ju were going to the pub, I felt sick, then I fell in the river. Next thing I knew, I was here."

Naboo looked at the head shaman. "I think the river's important."

"Why?"

"Coz Vince fell in the river as well. That seems to be the point when they switched over." Howard put in.

"Who is this guy anyway?" Saboo asked, disinterestedly.

"Noel Fielding. He…" Naboo glanced at Noel, obviously trying t think of the best way to phrase what he was going to say next. "He sort of…created us."

"How so?"

"He has this…TV show. Back in his universe. And it's of us."

"You think it's the Loerron theory?" the Head shaman suddenly looked a lot more interested.

"The what?" Noel asked, confused.

"What I said to you before," Naboo explained, "about how fiction in one universe can create an alternate reality where it's no longer fiction. Or vice versa. It's quite a vague theory, now I think about it."

"Right." Noel was feeling very awkward. The entire Shaman council were now staring fixedly at him. Even Kirk had emerged from his drug-induced stupor to stare at him. "Loerron Theory. Cool."

"So, you want to send this one back?" Dennis enquired.

"Yeah."

"And get Vince back." Howard said, as though worried everyone might forget the young man was still stuck in another world.

"And get Vince back." Naboo agreed.

* * *

Vince was staring in increasing alarm at Julian. The other man appeared to be having a small nervous breakdown, and Vince had no idea what to do. He couldn't work out why the realisation that he was Vince had affected the older man so much. Or why he kept telling him he wasn't real, when he was right there.

"Are...are you ok?" he asked nervously.

Julian looked up. "No. No I'm bloody not ok. Oh God…" he ran a hand down his face, still staring up at Vince. "How are you here?"

"You brought me here."

"No, I mean…what I was telling you before. About Vince and the Boosh being fiction…"

"When you kept calling me Noel, yeah."

"…I wasn't lying or wrong. You are. Noel and I created a series called The Mighty Boosh, about the lives of Vince Noir and Howard Moon. What you just saw," he indicated the DVD boxes, "is the show."

"But…but I'm not fictional. I'm here."

"I can bloody see that!"

"So…hold on…does that mean Noel – the real Noel I mean – is with Howard?"

Julian considered this. "I guess it must do…" the older man could not quite suppress a smile at the thought of Howard and Naboo confronted with Noel, when they were used to Vince.

"You'll help me get back?" Vince asked worriedly, rousing Julian from his thoughts.

"What's that?"

"You'll help me get back home? To Howard? And Naboo?"

"I don't exactly know how. Magic and stuff just doesn't happen here, or at least not that I'm aware of. I'm not exactly used to characters from stories turning up in my best mate's living room you know." He saw the look of combined shock, sadness and horror which crossed Vince's face. _He's like a little kid! _Julian marvelled, suddenly feeling really cruel. "I'll do my best." He promised, feeling a mixture of warmth and guilt at the watery smile which Vince gave him.

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Not entirely sure I'm over my block yet, but I'll keep at it!

**The review button loves to be poked! x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada yada.**

* * *

Julian raised his eyebrows when Vince walked into the room. "No. No way."

Vince looked down at the outfit he'd just put on in confusion. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"What's _wrong_…? Vince, its bright red!"

"Well, yeah!"

Julian pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Vince, you are supposed to be avoiding attention! You might as well have a neon sign strapped to your head!"

Vince sighed. "Ok! Ok! I'll go change into something black!"

"Good!"

As Vince disappeared back up the stairs, Julian wondered whether this was such a good idea. Once Vince had fully understood where he was, he had been desperate to go outside and see 'alternate' London. After a few days of constant begging, Julian had given in and promised him a day out. Now though, he wasn't so sure.

"There, better?" Vince asked sarcastically, giving a little twirl. He had changed into a tight pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt, with white boots. Julian sighed. It would do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince was practically skipping with excitement as they set off down the road. Julian grabbed his arm.

"Calm down, you idiot!" he hissed in his ear, "You're supposed to be going un-noticed!"

"Fine." Vince said, and stopped skipping.

"And if anyone talks to you, don't whatever you do tell them you're Vince! Leave the talking to me." They had so far managed to keep details of Noel's accident out of the papers, and the last thing anyone needed was the world thinking Noel Fielding had gone mad and thought he was Vince Noir.

Julian was very glad he gave that warning, because almost as soon as they stepped onto the busy high street, a group of 16 year old girls rushed up to them and started asking 'Noel' how he was. Vince grinned and said he was fine, then looked at Julian. The older man could tell he was nervous.

"Sorry, girls, but Noel's late for an appointment." they all grumbled, but with much giggling and attempted hugging they left the two men alone.

"Jeez." Muttered Vince, "is it like that all the time for him?"

"Not necessarily." Julian admitted, "I think people are a little over-anxious because they heard about the accident."

"Right." Vince was stunned. He thought _he'd _had a huge following back home. At least he'd never been mobbed by random teenagers. Not so many at once, anyway.

* * *

"This is gonna be **genius**!" Noel exclaimed, rifling through Vince's wardrobe. Howard had promised to take him on a night out to the Velvet Onion. Noel couldn't remember the last time he'd been this excited about going to a club, it had become such a habit back home. But that was normal clubs, how often did you get to visit something you invented?

"Ok, well, I'll leave you to get ready." Howard told him, heading for the door.

"Yeah, see ya Howard."

Howard shut the bedroom door with a click and headed over to the kitchen where Naboo and Bollo were talking quietly.

"How is he?" asked Naboo when he saw Howard approach.

"He's fine. Excited about going to the Velvet Onion."

Naboo sighed. "Good. Good, we want him entertained…"

"You found out any more about what happened?" Howard asked.

"No. Give me time though. This is a very old and very vague theory. It's going to take a while."

"Bollo miss precious Vince." Bollo said, sadly.  
Howard nodded. They had all taken to Noel, but he wasn't the same. He was more sarcastic, less naïve. They all missed Vince.

At that moment, Noel came out dressed in one of Vince's Joan-Jet jumpsuits.

"What d'ya think?" he asked, posing.

"You look like a futuristic prostitute" Howard told him with a small smile. Noel grinned.

"Come on, then, let's go!" Howard said, walking towards the door. As he walked through he glanced back and Naboo and Bollo; who were both, once again, engrossed in quiet conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's a lot bigger than I thought it would be!" Noel yelled over the music.

"How come?!" Howard called back.

"I dunno. Guess it's because we only film the stage area!"

"VINCE!" someone yelled, clapping Noel forcefully on the back causing him to choke on his drink.

"Nope!" Howard told them, "This is Noel. Noel, meet Leroy."

"Noel?" Leroy considered him for a moment, then turned to Howard, "this aint some role-play game, is it?"

Noel looked enquiringly at Howard, who flushed. "No! Why would I do that! Noel's…um…Vince's cousin!"

"Right. Hey Noel!"

"Alright Leroy!" Noel had to admit, Leroy looked nothing like he'd pictured. The only time they'd shown 'Leroy' on the show, he'd been so caked in make-up the actor had been unrecognisable. It felt almost weird to be seeing him, as if someone had looked into his head and told him how his ideas ought to look.

"Why'd you say I'm Vince's cousin?" he asked once Leroy had left. Howard shrugged.

"He was off his face. I figured he'd probably freak out or not understand."

"True."

Howard looked over at the stage and groaned suddenly. "Oh God…"

Noel followed his gaze and saw that Bob Fossil had taken to the stage wearing only a string bikini. Every patron in the club was either looking a little sick or was so drunk they hadn't noticed. Noel had to bite his tongue to suppress the urge to yell out 'nice tits'. He had to remember this wasn't Rich he was talking to.

* * *

"Noel!"

Vince spun round to see a cute brunette standing next to him. She looked familiar, he thought, but he couldn't think where he'd seen her before.

"How are you? How're they treating you in the psychiatry sessions?"

Vince looked over at Julian in alarm. He hadn't been going to the sessions, not since Julian had realised he wasn't crazy. To his surprise, Julian smiled at the woman.

"Hey, Dee. How you holding up?"

"Not too bad."

"_Dee_?" Vince mouthed over her shoulder.

"_Noel's girlfriend_." Julian mouthed back.

"Oh. Er, hi Dee!"

"Do you remember anything yet?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"Um…a bit…"

"He can remember the accident now, but not much else." Julian cut in, frowning at him.

"Oh." she looked disappointed. Vince felt an urge to say something to comfort her, pretend he knew her, maybe. But he resisted, knowing Julian wouldn't be happy. Plus he wasn't very good at thinking on his feet. The three of them had a small conversation for a few minutes, before Julian pointed out that 'Noel' shouldn't get too tired and they should get back to the house.

Vince was almost glad to be back. True, he'd had a genius day visiting parallel Topshop and seeing parallel London. But the constant attention had driven him mad. It was the _staring_. Back home people had adored him, they had gone through his bins and they had tried to touch him. But people never stared when he walked down the street, not unless he wanted them to with an outfit or something.

He and Julian sat on the sofa in silence for a while. Vince looked at him. "Dee's nice." He said in a would-be casual voice.

Julian frowned slightly. "She is." He said his tone suspicious.

"I was thinking maybe we could invite her round."

"She's also dating my best mate. Who, I might point out, she believes you are."

"I know! Jeez, what do you take me for; you think I'd take advantage like that!"

"Hmm. Maybe not, sorry." But Julian was anything but convinced.

"Thanks for today." Vince said, trying to change the subject.

"That's alright."

"It was genius. All those people were a bit much, but you dealt with them!"

"Yeah, well." Julian smiled, feeling pleased at the praise.

"You've been great, you know that? Since you've known who I was, I mean. Before that you were a bit creepy."

Julian laughed. "Thanks. No, but seriously, you were pretty good today yourself. I'll admit I wasn't sure about taking you out, I thought you'd blow our cover. But you're a lot smarter than I give you credit for!"

Vince was silent. Julian turned his head to look at him, then his eyes opened wide when he felt a pair of lips pressed against his own. He shoved Vince away from him and stood up, wiping his mouth angrily. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I...I don't…"

"About 3 minutes ago you were saying how you fancied Dee! What is wrong with you?!"

"I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean…it's just you were being so nice to me and you look so much like Howard…" he trailed off, looking lost and tearful.

He looked so bewildered and upset that Julian felt his anger evaporating. As he looked at Vince, trying to get rid of the last of his anger, what the younger man had said filtered through his brain. "Hold on, what do you mean 'I look so much like Howard'?"

Vince frowned, puzzled. "Well, you do."

"No, I mean, why would that mean you tried to…you know." He blinked, not sure he liked where this was going. "Are you and he…?"

"What?! No!" Vince wiped his eyes, trying to dry his tears. "I mean, Howard's straighter than a fucking _arrow_."

"But you…?" Vince blushed and looked away. "I see."

"It's not like I'd tell him or anything." Vince insisted quickly. "He'd freak out completely." He looked suddenly at Julian, as though struck by a sudden idea, "Wouldn't he?"

Julian blinked. Vince was looking at him with a slightly pleading expression. Julian smiled to himself for a moment, picturing Noel's face if he suggested they write it into a script that Vince tells Howard he loves him and they become a couple. He shook himself out of the daydream and looked down at Vince. "I don't know. How about I make you some tea, yeah?"

"Ok." Vince buried his face in his hands as Julian wondered out of the room. What the hell had he been thinking? He'd never planned to kiss anyone; he didn't even fancy Julian…

**BRRRRING!**

Vince lifted his head slightly as the doorbell rang. At least now there would be someone else in the room with him and Julian. It was going to be a bit awkward, he could tell…

**BRRRRING!**

Why wasn't he answering the door? Couldn't he hear it?

**BRRRRING!**

Vince sighed. Julian had warned him under no circumstances was he to open the door. But really, what harm could it do? He stood up, and went to answer it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Julian leant against the counter as the kettle boiled, trying to get his head around what he'd just found out. _Vince liked Howard._

_Vince and Howard. Together._

Julian shook his head. He knew people loved the idea of them as a couple, he'd read enough of the fan fiction stories, but he found it a little too weird. It was practically him and Noel!

He froze as he thought he heard the doorbell and listened hard. He didn't want to have to leave the kitchen unless he was sure. He didn't hear it again, so he shrugged and finished making the tea. He picked up the mugs and headed back to the front room.

"Hey, Vince, about before. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Vince? I…oh." he'd just walked into the room. Mike was there.

And he looked extremely pissed off.

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Hehe, I just can't resist!

**Reviews are made of love x**


	8. Chapter 8

**I swear I have had writers block for the longest time! Grr. Oh well, update!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. If i ever do own anything, i'll let you know :)**

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"M-mike! What…what're you doing here?" Julian shot Vince a look, he'd told him not to answer the door.

"Funny thing." Mike said, his voice heavy with ill-concealed anger. "I've just been speaking to Dr Harris. She says you haven't brought him to any of his psychiatry appointments, apparently you rang and said you'd had him transferred to a private specialist."

"Umm, I did."

"Right. Only, you never asked them for a referral, which he would have needed, nor did you consult with me."

"Well, I…"

"And then I come round here," Mike's voice had lowered dangerously, it was almost a hiss, "and you're calling him 'Vince'! 'Vince', Julian! We're not supposed to confuse him!"

"About that…umm…" Julian glanced at Vince, who was watching the exchange warily.

"I don't want to hear it, Julian! I don't know what's wrong with you; Dee was saying you took him out shopping! Please tell me that's not true!"

"Well…"

"That's it. You clearly can't be trusted with him; I'm having him taken into hospital away from you!"

"No!" both men looked round at Vince, who was gazing beseechingly at Julian. "Julian, you can't let them put me in a mental hospital! I won't go to a hospital, I won't!" he had gone even paler than before, if possible.

"It's ok, Vince, really. We'll get you back…" Julian had meant to say this quietly, but Mike's sharp intake of breath told him he'd been overheard.

"Why're you talking to him like that?! It's like you think he **is **Vince!"

Julian gulped. There was no way he was going to be able to talk his way out of this one; it was either tell Mike the truth or have Vince practically sectioned. He took a deep breath. "Mike. He is Vince."

Mike's eyes widened. "What?"

"He is Vince. I don't know how or why, but I think he and Noel sort of swapped when he fell in the river. Noel's probably in the Boosh world right now."

"I don't believe this…"

"It's true, Mike. I thought he was crazy at first too, but he's not! The Boosh is real, it's all real; Howard, Vince, Naboo. Just like we wrote!"

"No, I mean I don't believe this. I don't believe _you_! This is either a very sick joke, or you've lost it. Either way you need serious help. And you are not staying looking after my brother!" Mike turned and stormed out of the room.

"Shit." Muttered Julian, hurrying after him. "Mike!" he caught up with the smaller man at the front door, slamming it shut and leaning against it to prevent him from leaving. "Mike, I'm not crazy." He grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the living room, ignoring his angry cries. "Look at him, Mike!" he said, pointing at Vince. "Look at him and tell me that's you're brother."

"Of course it is!"

"Look at him! It's nothing like Noel, you know it isn't!"

"That's because he's sick! There is no such thing as magic, no such thing as body swaps, and The Mighty Boosh is a fucking **story**!"

"He has a _life _Mike! He has memories! How would he know that if it isn't really Vince?"

"I don't want to hear this, Julian!"

"He knows how to drive! He's just been saying he's in love with…" he trailed off, shooting a glance at Vince who was watching him wide eyed. "Just suspend your disbeliefs for one second, Mike. Imagine all this could be true. Are you 100 percent sure that this is your brother?"

Mike gazed at Vince; who watched him uncertainly, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. "Of course it's him!" he spat. Julian rolled his eyes, suddenly understanding why Vince had gotten so worked up when he himself had doubted his identity.

"Vince, go upstairs please."

"But I…"

"Please?"

"Fine." Vince backed out of the room, and the two men heard him scurry up the stairs and heard a door close. Julian turned back to his friend.

"Mike. Please listen to me."

* * *

Howard gazed blankly at the wall, his mind on Vince. He wondered what he was doing right now; whether or not he was thinking about him…

What was he thinking? Of course he wouldn't be. It was Vince; he'd be out having a good time not worrying about some 'jazzy freak' like him. Naboo had gone out to see a friend of his who was supposed to be an expert on the Loerron theory. Howard sighed, thinking about whether or not it was likely Naboo would return with good news.

"Alright Howard?" asked Noel as he walked out of the bedroom. The older man was sat slumped on the sofa with the TV on, but Noel got the feeling he hadn't actually been watching it for quite some time. He seemed lost in thought. He jumped slightly, and looked around.

"Hey, Noel."

"What're you watching?"

"Oh. Umm…" Howard gazed at the TV screen, trying to work out what the program was. Noel sighed sympathetically.

"Are you ok, mate?" he asked, sitting down beside Howard, "You seem a little…I dunno…out of it."

"I'm fine."

"Vince?" Noel guessed. Howard gazed at him for a few seconds, then nodded.  
"I miss him. He may be a self obsessed little tit-box who drives me mad, but I miss him." he glanced at Noel, "It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid! I miss Julian, and I miss Dee, and Mike…"

"But it's not the same, is it? You **spend** time with other people, you **go** out, you **play** the social field. Vince is all I've got."

"That's not true! What about Naboo and Bollo? What about Lester?"

Howard snorted. "Lester? Noel, the man's a borderline psychotic who thinks I'm 86. And Naboo only likes me because I work for next to nothing in his dodgy second hand shop."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." He thought for a second, "Actually, maybe it is. But at least I've got Vince." The look on his face, however, told Noel that he wasn't sure he had anyone at all.

Noel said nothing. He could feel guilt twisting up his insides at the way he and Julian had made Vince act towards Howard in series 3. _Which is crazy_, he reminded himself, _because none of this is real. It's in my head. Howard is __**not**__ real, so I have nothing to feel guilty about!_

But that didn't stop the feeling that he had in some way ruined someone else's life. "Erm…I might just nip out for a bit."

Howard looked at him, surprised and confused. "Why?"

"Just…feel like some air."

"Oh. Ok." Howard let out a small sigh as he heard Noel leave the flat. All alone. Again…

"Howard!" Naboo suddenly came racing up the stairs, closely followed by Bollo. "Howard, where are you?"

"I'm right here, you berk. What is it?"

"I think I've found something! I think I can open a temporary link to the other world!"

"Vince can come back?"

"Well, no." Naboo conceded, "But we can talk to him!"

Howard stood up, excitement coursing through him. "Brilliant! Let's do it!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took about half an hour, but eventually Naboo was ready to begin. He picked up an old book and began to read. The lights in the flat began to flicker eerily. Howard glanced nervously at the shaman; thinking about spells of Naboo's which had gone wrong. Suddenly, the TV sparked into life once more, and the lights returned to normal.

"That's it?" Howard asked, looking around. "You turned on the television? Not exactly what we were aiming for, Naboo."

"The link's in the TV, you idiot!"

"Oh." Howard gazed at the screen. "Neither of those people are Vince though, are they?"

"Well then, I don't know what's happened!"

Howard studied the screen. "Hold on, though, that guy does look familiar…" he frowned. There were two men on the screen; one of them had his back to them so Howard couldn't see his face. But the other one…if he had slightly longer hair, maybe…Howard jerked his head to stare at Naboo, then back at the screen. Then he looked at Naboo again.

"What?" asked the shaman, annoyed.

"That…he looks like you! Naboo, that must be Mike!"

"Mike?"

"Noel's brother. You did it, Naboolio!" he knocked on the screen, "Mike!" on getting no response, he turned to Naboo. "They can't hear us. I thought they would be able to hear us?"

"Something must have gone a bit wrong. Wait here; I think I've got some books in my room that could help us." He hurried off; leaving Howard sat beside the screen, watching the two men arguing.

* * *

"…Julian I'm worried about you. Seriously, think about what you're saying!"

"You think I wasn't shocked by this?! Everything I've ever taken for granted about the world has just been blown out of the water!"

"No it hasn't!"

"He remembers his mother committing suicide, Mike! He keeps talking about events which certainly weren't in any of the scripts we wrote."

"Because he's _ill_! His brain's just…I dunno…trying to make sense of it by making up memories." He glanced over Julian's shoulder and his brow creased in annoyance. "Will you turn that bloody thing off?"

Julian looked round to see the TV on, showing Howard in the Boosh flat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh my God!" Howard muttered, staring at the man. It was a very odd sensation; like meeting yourself in the street. This, he realised, must be Julian.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sorry, didn't realise it was on." Julian reached for the remote, and frowned. It _wasn't_ on. So how…? He suddenly realised what he must be looking at. "Howard?"

"What?" Mike asked, but Julian wasn't listening. He sank to his knees in front of the screen.

"Howard? Is that you?"

The figure on the screen nodded, and his mouth moved as if saying something.

"I can't hear you." Julian said, gesturing to try and emphasise the point. Howard blinked and looked around frowning, before getting up and disappearing from view. He reappeared a few seconds later, holding a pen and paper. He scribbled a message and held it up.

**Is Vince with you?**

Julian read it, and then nodded. Howard's face immediately brightened, and he wrote something else.

**Can I see him?**

Julian nodded again, and then hesitated. "Is Noel there? Is he ok?" he asked, emphasising the words so his lips would be easier to read. Howard grinned and held up the paper again.

**Yes. He's fine. He's just gone out, though. Vince?**

"Oh. Right." Julian got to his feet, and went to the door. "Vince!"

"Look, Julian, I don't know what the hell this is but it has got to stop!"

He looked at Mike in surprise. "Mike, how can you still not believe it? Howard's right there!"

"Yes; on a TV screen! I don't know when you…" he broke off.

Naboo had just appeared on screen, peering out at them. He waved at Julian and Mike, grinning.

"…and that's me." Mike said, weakly. "What?"

"That's not you; that's Naboo. Vince! Come quickly, Howard and Naboo have contacted us!"

There was a sudden scramble as Vince raced down the stairs, heart pounding. He skidded into the room and stared at the TV. His eyes locked with those of his best friend for half a second; and then the screen went blank. "Howard!"

Vince raced forwards and turned it on, flicking through the channels; but the image did not come back. "No!" he turned to Julian, eyes watering. "Did he say anything? Is he ok?"

"He seems fine, Vince."

"I wanted…I wanted to see him." he said in a small voice, tears rolling down his face.

"Hey!" Julian stepped forwards and laid a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "They did it once, they can do it again!"

"What," Mike said, making the two of them turn. The smaller man looked pale and slightly ill, "the hell is going on?!"

* * *

"No!" Howard bashed the side of the TV desperately. For one second; one beautiful second; he'd seen Vince. His Vince. Then it had gone black, wrenching him away again. He looked at Naboo. "What the hell happened? Where's it gone?"

"I don't know! It was using up a lot of power; I guess it just…ran out." He shrugged apologetically.

"Oh, that's just perfect!" Howard said moodily. If anything; he felt even worse than before. To have been given a glimpse of his friend without being able to talk to him…he would almost have rather not seen him at all.

Almost.

He and Naboo both jumped as the front door slammed and Noel came up the stairs. "Hey, guys." He frowned slightly at the guilty looks on their faces, "What's up?"

**

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Reviews are loved!


	9. Chapter 9

**Argh! Exam results are out tomorrow! Actually...i just looked at the clock and realised it's technically Thursday already! They're out today!! Panic!! I thought I'd update now, because whatever the outcome of my results I doubt I'll be in a fit state to type coherently by Thursday night lol.**

**Disclaimer: Does anyone actually read these things? Not mine.**

* * *

Naboo and Howard exchanged a guilty look. "Nothing."

Noel raised an eyebrow sceptically. "No, come on, you're guilty about something. What's going on?"

Naboo sighed. "Ok…we contacted your world."

"Oh. Right."

"I'm sorry, I know we should have waited for you, but Howard really wanted to speak to Vince, and so did I…"

"Whatever, Naboo. It's fine!" Noel said with a smile, and wandered into the kitchen.

Howard blinked. "He took that well."

"Hmm. A little too well…" Naboo said thoughtfully. "Noel?"

"What?"

"Aren't you…aren't you upset? That we had contact with Mike and Julian and you weren't here to speak to them?"

"It would have been nice to see them, yeah, but it wouldn't have really been them."

Naboo looked confused. "Well, they'd have been on a screen I suppose…"

"No, I mean, it wouldn't have been them would it? It would have been me making stuff up. So I'm fine, really."

Howard shook his head. "I'm sorry, you 'making stuff up'? How'd you figure that, sir?"

"Well…it's in my head. And I think I'd rather wait until I can actually see them, y'know?"

"Noel…you're not in a coma. Howard, Bollo and I are real; you're really here."

Noel rolled his eyes. "Well of course you'd say that! A make-believe world wouldn't be any fun if the characters didn't think they were real, would it?"

Naboo rolled his eyes at Howard, who shook his head. "Seriously, Noel, why are you finding this so hard to believe?"

"Because it's impossible!"

"But…seriously, how often do you think people travel to other worlds in their minds when they're in comas?"

Noel opened his mouth, and then closed it again. To be honest, he'd never heard of that happening. The only thing he was basing this theory on was a TV show. _A good TV show though._ He thought to himself. As if that made any difference.

"It doesn't happen very often, that's why." Naboo said comfortingly when he realised Noel wasn't going to respond. "And even if it does, do you really think you'd be able to make it this complex and life-like? You're good, but are you that good?"

"The details, Noel. Howard's got a slight tear in his shirt from where he caught it on a nail earlier."

Howard looked down in surprise. "Even I hadn't noticed that!" he exclaimed.

"Shush Howard. As I was saying, he's got a tear. And I've got a slight burn on my hand from a spell that went wrong earlier."

"So?"

"So, why would you imagine that? You didn't. This is real, Noel."

Noel stared at him, mind whirring. This couldn't be real. If this was real then everything he'd believed about life was a lie. His rational mind was telling him not to believe any of this; it was just going to make him sicker and lead him further away from recovery.

But the crazy part of his mind, the part where he got most of the Boosh ideas from, was telling him that stranger things had happened.

* * *

"This is impossible." Mike insisted again, staring at Howard and Julian. "Impossible. I don't know what that was, but it must have been some sort of trick or something…"

"Mike, if this really was Noel, do you think he'd be well enough to pull off something like that?" Julian asked. He thought for a second. "Plus I'm a little concerned about what you think my mental state is like that you think I'd do something like this."

Mike stared at Vince. "Vince?"

"Wotcha."

"Oh my God." Mike stared at the ceiling. "I think I've gone mad."

"How is it?"

"Not as fun as I may have believed."

Julian smiled. "Mike, seriously. You're not crazy. I promise you you're not."

"Julian was awful when he first realised I was Vince. I thought he was gonna have a stroke or something." Vince piped up happily. Julian glared at him.

"Thank you, Vince." He turned back to Mike. "But my point is, is that this is real."

"How?" the young man asked softly. Julian hesitated.

"We…don't know. But Vince tells me that he fell in a river as well, so we think that's the crossover point."

"How can he be here? He's fiction, how can he be here?" Mike gazed at the TV. "And how can they have been there? It's none of it real…"

"Again, we're not sure. But we're going to try and find out."

"Julian's gonna help me get home."

"I'm going to try, Vince."

Vince blinked back tears. "I have to get home, Ju. If I don't see Howard again I think I'll die."

"Hey! Don't be overdramatic!" Julian said comfortingly. "Even if I can't do anything, Naboo'll sort something out, you'll see. He got a message through the TV didn't he?"

"Yeah…"

"That's only one step away from actually coming here, isn't it?"

"I guess…"

"So all this time he's actually been Vince?" Mike asked again. "And that's why you stopped taking him to his appointments?"

"Yeah. It seemed a bit bloody pointless taking him to see a doctor who'd spend the whole time telling him he was Noel when I realised he wasn't." he smiled slightly. "I must say, it's going to be a hell of a lot easier now we've got you on board. People will believe you more because you're family. Plus I always feel really guilty when I have to fob Dee or your mum off with an excuse as to why they can't talk to him when they ring. Now you can do it for me!"

Mike smiled weakly.

"Is he in shock?" Vince asked innocently.

Julian looked at the young man. His eyes did seem a little glazed. "Mike? You ok?"

"Not really, no."

"You want a drink of anything? Preferably non alcoholic?"

"I'm fine. Just…just give me a minute."

Vince prodded Julian on the arm. "Ju, did Howard say anything about me?"

"No." he saw Vince's face fall. "There wasn't any sound. He couldn't say anything." He went on quickly. "He looked so happy when I let him know you were here though."

"Did you get to speak to Noel?"

Julian sighed. "No. No, we didn't. He was out."

"Why'd they contact us if he wasn't there? Seems a bit mean."

Julian smiled at him. "I think maybe Howard wanted to see you as soon as possible."

Vince beamed happily through his unshed tears. "He wanted to see me." He muttered to himself.

* * *

"This is real?" Noel said eventually. He felt sick. When he'd thought this had all been in his head it had been fun; something he could experiment with and play about in. one of the best things that had happened to him.

Now he was entertaining the thought that it could really be happening to him, that he had possibly been transported to another world, it seemed a lot less entertaining.

It seemed scary.

"Noel, we'll get you back. I've been seeing this guy; this expert on the Loerron theory. He was the one who helped me understand how to forge the video connection. We can work out a way to open a physical connection, I know we can!"

"This is real." Noel repeated. Naboo sighed.

"Ok, now you're in shock." He looked across at Howard. "Sit him down on the sofa, I'll get him something."

Howard complied. "Easy now, Noel. It's alright."

"But if this is real, how did it happen?" Noel asked desperately. "People don't just disappear into fantasy worlds!"

Naboo returned and handed him a flask of green liquid. Noel downed it in one and winced.

"Bloody hell! What was that?!"

"Good for shock." Naboo told him. He sat on the table opposite. "Noel, listen to me. Can you think of anything, anything at all that might explain this switch? Even if it seems completely irrelevant, I want you to think, Noel."

Noel raised an eyebrow. "You've got no idea how this happened, do you?"

Naboo groaned softly. "None whatsoever."

**

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And now everyone knows what's going on :)

**Hugs for reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok, next update! This is the last update you're gonna get for a while as I'm off to Italy for two weeks! So I'm gonna be doing a mass update of all my stories before I go.**

* * *

Noel fiddled nervously with the cushion he was holding. "Um…Howard?"

"Hmm?" Howard said, glancing at him before returning his gaze to his Global Explorer magazine.

"I just…I am so, so sorry."

"What for?"

"Everything!"

"It's fine Noel. I already told you that."

"Yeah, but it isn't! I don't feel fine, I feel like shit."

It was 2 days since Noel had realised the Boosh world was real, and he'd spent a lot of the time either sitting in silence or apologising. Howard thought he preferred it when he'd thought they were all figments of his imagination.

"Stop apologising, sir, or I'll come at ya like a nun sandwich."

Noel grinned weakly and Howard smiled. That had been what he was aiming for.

"Sorry. I'm being a bit of a twat, aren't I?"

"Well…"

"Just a bit, yeah." Naboo said, walking into the room, followed by Bollo.

"Hello Noel."

"H-hey, Bollo!" Noel said nervously. Howard suppressed a grin. Of all the things Noel could be scared of in this world, all the dangers they might face; and he was scared of an asthmatic gorilla who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Unless it was bothering Vince of course.

"Bollo making pie. You two eating dinner?" Bollo asked, gazing at Howard and Noel.

"Yeah, cheers Bollo." Howard replied.

"I just can't believe what I was planning to do to you guys!"

"What were you going to do?"

"Um...well…I was sort of thinking of splitting you and Vince apart in the movie." Noel said with an apologetic smile.

Naboo looked up sharply. "What?!"

"I was gonna fix them again!" Noel went on hurriedly. "I think I'd have about a million girls after my blood if I didn't."

Naboo waved his hand impatiently. "No. what were you gonna do?"

"Um…I dunno. Some sort of fight or something? And then, y'know, have one of those 'one year later' sort of things…"

"You were going to split us up for a year?!" Howard exclaimed.

"It was only a first draft! We probably wouldn't have done it!"

"But you might have…" Naboo began. Then he stilled. "You might have done." he repeated, almost to himself. "That's it!" he jumped up and ran out of the room.

"You gonna tell us where you're going, or…?" the door slammed shut. "Guess not." Howard turned back to Noel. "So tell me more about this potential script…"

* * *

Vince grinned uncertainly at Mike as Julian led him into the room. Discovering that Vince wasn't Noel had hit the young man fairly hard. He was still perfectly nice to Vince; but he could sense a change in the young man's demeanour. Plus he hadn't really spoken to Vince other than to say hello and offer him things.

"Hi, Vince."

"Alright Mike?"

"So…is it alright if I pop home for a bit?" asked Julian, glancing at the two men.

"Yeah, fine." Mike answered. As soon as the door closed, he turned awkwardly to Vince. "So…"

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." Vince told him, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"What's it like? The Boosh world? Is it…is it the same?"

Vince shrugged. "I guess. Seems pretty much the same."

"Right."

Vince could see the worry in the other man's eyes. "I'm sure he's fine you know. The Hitcher and stuff, that's a…fairly rare occurrence, we don't usually have people trying to kill us."

"Good to know." Mike sighed. "I just don't understand how this could have happened. I've always believed we were alone, you know? And now I find that not only is there other universes out there with life, but one of them was created by my brother!"

Vince looked interested. "So…isn't there life on other planets here then?"

"Nope. Not that we know of, anyway."

"Oh. Weird."

Vince fiddled with his fingernails. He could tell there was more stuff Mike wanted to ask, stuff not connected to aliens, so he waited for the younger man to speak."

"Vince?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you and Howard…?" Mike looked round as the doorbell rang. He glanced at Vince. "Julian, d'you reckon?"

"Doesn't he have a key?"

"Oh yeah." Mike bit his lip, thinking. He was hesitant about opening the door with Vince here. Then again, what if it was important? He sighed and stood up. "I'll get that. You stay here." He instructed. He walked out into the hallway and opened the door.

As soon as he saw who was standing there he wished he hadn't. "Mum! What…what're you doing here?"

* * *

Naboo ran quickly up the stairs to the flat, heart pounding in his rib-cage. He burst in. "Howard! Noel!"

"What?" Howard asked grumpily from the sofa. It was about 4 am and he was trying to sleep.

"I think I might know what's going on!"

"What?!" Howard was fully awake now.

"Yeah! Where's Noel?"

Howard went and roused the younger man from bed. He emerged looking sleepy, with his hair at odd angles. "Whusgoingon?" he muttered blearily, rubbing his eyes.

"I might know what's happened."

Noel blinked at him stupidly for a few seconds, then shook his head. "Wow! What happened? Can I get home?"

"One step at a time." he grinned at them both excitedly. "It's your fault!"

"What? How is it my fault?!" Noel asked indignantly.

"You were gonna break up Howard and Vince."

"I told you; I was gonna fix them!"

"Yeah, but after how long? A year, you said."

"So?"

"So; that wouldn't be such a big deal in a film. One scene could be today, the next one year's time. But _our_ timeline would run properly. It would actually be a year."

"I repeat my earlier comment: so?"

Naboo sighed. "Ok, here's where it gets a bit sketchy. I think that the longer it gets from when our two universes collided…"

"When we created the Mighty Boosh?"

"Yeah. The longer it gets from then, the less control you have over us. Like; the zoo episodes you were saying about were all exactly like it happened. But the later episodes weren't, understand?"

"Well…"

"Think of it as like…a piece of chewing gum being split in half. The further you pull the two pieces apart, the thinner the stringy bit in the middle is, yes?"

"I don't see…"

"What's the Mighty Boosh about?" Naboo asked suddenly.

"Well…Howard and Vince." Noel said, confused. He had no idea where this was going.

"Exactly. This universe exists around Howard and Vince."

Howard let out a small noise, halfway between a laugh and a cough. "Bloody hell, you're telling me the universe actually _does_ revolve around Vince?"

"It revolves around both of you. As a unit." He looked at Noel. "But you wanted to change that, break them apart for a year. Only, a year is a long time."

"So he'd have less control over us?" Howard asked, understanding beginning to seep into his mind.

"Exactly." Naboo nodded. "What if, in that year, we went _almost_ _beyond_ their control? What if the reconciliation never happened? Howard and Vince stayed apart?"

"I don't see why that made me switch with Vince though!" Noel argued.

"Our universe exists around Howard and Vince being together. _So what would happen to our universe if they weren't?_"

There was a moments silence as Naboo's words sunk in. Howard frowned. "Hold on, you're telling me that Vince and I have to be together forever or the universe ends?!"

"Well, not really. As long as we're still partially connected to Noel's world. I think there will come a time when we exist in our own right and aren't affected by them anymore. But whilst we are…"

"Howard and Vince not being together would cause a paradox." Noel realised suddenly. Naboo nodded sagely.

"Exactly. I think the only reason Vince crossed into your world is because _you_ being _here_ upset the balance. I think this happened because you were endangering our universe. So it brought you here to show you it was real in the hopes that you wouldn't."

"That implies the universe is sentient and can think for itself."

"Who says it can't? The moon does."

"Fair enough."

"So…what happens now?" Howard asked.

Naboo smiled, although he looked slightly anxious. "Well, if I'm right and we do now know the cause…we can fix it. We can send Noel home."

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Reviews are loved! (Especially as they'll cheer me up after having to come home from my holiday lol).


	11. Chapter 11

**Bloody hell, I haven't updated this in ages! I expect a lot of people have forgotten all about this fic lol, sorry about that. Anyway, thought I should finally get round to writing it (have got some free time coz I don't have to attend one of my lectures coz I know what they're teaching. I love knowing stuff lol)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Erm…I own a Mighty Boosh DVD. Does that count? No? Oh well.**

* * *

Diane Fielding smiled. "Hello Mike love."

"Yeah, hi." Mike moved slightly to the right so he was blocking the door. "Listen, mum, why're you here?"

"Why do you think? I'm here to see Noel." she told him, rolling her eyes.

"You cant!"

She frowned slightly. "Why not?"

"He's…sleeping."

"No he isn't. He's right there, I can see him!"

Mike turned his head. Sure enough, Vince had for some reason decided to follow him out of the living room and was standing awkwardly in the hall. Mike groaned softly, glaring at him.

"Well, he needs rest, so…"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Michael, why wont you let me see him? Every time I call to speak to him I get Julian giving me excuses, and now you! Why don't you want me to see my son?"

"It's not that mum, we just…"

"Good, then I can come in then." she barged past him and swept Vince into a hug. Mike bit his lip and closed the door, hoping with all his heart Julian would be back soon. He wasn't entirely sure what he thought the older man would be able to do; but it would still be nice to have an ally.

* * *

Noel grinned happily at his reflection. He never thought he'd be this excited about going home. Of course; Naboo had warned it might take a while, but Noel didn't care. All that mattered to him was that they were getting somewhere with this; had a theory as to why it had happened and how to reverse it.

"Alright?" Howard asked, wondering into the bedroom.

"Genius." Noel replied, fiddling with his hair to make it lie exactly right. "Howard?"

"Hmm?"

"Has Naboo said anything to you? About, y'know, anything?"

Howard sighed. "Not a bloody thing." it really annoyed him, actually. After explaining his theory to them the morning before, he'd barely spoken a word to them since. Howard thought they should be involved, it was to do with them after all.

"Are you excited? About getting Vince back?"

Howard smiled. "Yeah. I cant wait." he looked up. "I mean, don't get me wrong I like you, but…it's Vince."

Noel laughed. "Don't get your knickers in a twist mate, I'm not offended. Hell, if it was you switched with Ju I'd be glad to see the back of you if it meant getting my mate back."

"Thanks, you're too kind."

Noel laughed again. "Seriously though." he shook his head slightly. "I cant wait to get back. I wonder how everyone's getting on?"

* * *

Vince glanced nervously at Mike, then looked quickly away when he caught the young man's eye and he glared at him. He still wasn't sure why he'd ignored Mike's warning to stay out the way, but he definitely hadn't expected Noel's mum to be standing there. He thought Julian had given her the whole 'don't confuse Noel, he wont know who you are' spiel. Obviously she'd decided to ignore it.

"How are you, Noel?" Diane asked.

"Um…I'm…good." he smiled at her, and she beamed back.

"how're you finding the psychiatrist? What's his name again?"

Vince looked at Mike in a panic. He wasn't sure what they'd been telling her, and he didn't want to contradict anything.

"Doctor French." Mike said quickly. "He's private."

"When did that happen?"

"Oh…not that long ago."

"When's his next session?"

Mike swallowed. "I…I don't know. You'll have to ask Ju."

She blinked. "Mike. About that…"

"Yeah?"

"Why has Julian become Noel's primary carer? Every time I call here, it's him I speak to. And now you're telling me he's in charge of Noel's medical care?"

"So? Vi…Noel's comfortable around him, mum…"

"He's comfortable around you? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Julian but he's not _family_. Noel needs to be looked after by his family!"

As if on cue, he heard the front door open as Julian came back in.

"Julian! Hi. Mum's here!" he called, just in case Julian started talking to Vince without checking there was no-one else here.

"What?! I…oh. Hi, Diane."

"Julian."

He shot a curious glance at Mike, uncertain as to why she was there. The younger man shook his head apologetically.

"Diane, um…listen, don't take this the wrong way, but…"

"You want me to leave."

"No! No, it's not that, Diane! I'm not trying to keep Noel from his family, but…you might…confuse him."

"Rubbish. People meet strangers every day, doesn't send them into a shock spiral! What is it with you two?"

"Mum…" Mike began but she waved him aside.

"I don't understand! It's like you want him to be dependent on you or something! I just…"

"Mum. Stop it." Vince said in a small voice. Everyone fell silent and looked at him in amazement.

"Sorry, Noel." Diane said softly, looking round as if only just remembering where she was. "Sorry."

Vince swallowed, watching her. She seemed nice, a smiley sort of person. _Is this what my mum would have been like? Would she have cared about me as much as she obviously cares about Noel?_ Vince had felt a lot of things so far, but this was the only time he'd felt even the slightest desire to stay. He couldn't help thinking about what his life would have been like if his mum hadn't killed herself. He also couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't mind Diane as a mother.

"I should go. Call me, Julian. Please."

"I will, Diane. I promise."

Vince stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her tight. "Bye, mum."

"Bye love." she smiled and was led out of the room by Mike. Vince watched them go, tears threatening to fall, already recording every detail of his 'mum' to memory.

* * *

"Howard? Howard!"

"What is it, Naboolio? You talking to us again?"

"What're you on about, you ball bag? Whatever. Listen, we think tonight."

"What about tonight?"

Naboo rolled his eyes as if Howard were a simpleton. "Tonight we can have a go at reversing the switch!"

"What?" Noel appeared as if out of no-where and grinned. "Tonight?!"

"Yeah!"

"Tonight…oh man, I need to get ready!" he ran into the bedroom, muttering about straightners. Howard grinned, then felt it slide slightly as he saw the way Naboo was looking at him.

"What?"

"Howard…there's something I need to tell you about this…"

**

* * *

**

Sorry there's not much Noel and Howard scenes in this chapter! Never mind. I still haven't decided how nice I'm going to be to them, whether or not I'm going to make it work! Depends on how many more ideas I get; whether or not I think I can write a lot more chapters or not! Reviews are love, you guys keep me writing!xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Gah! I'm REALLY sorry for the slow updates! In my defence, between my Mighty Boosh fics and my Torchwood fics, I have 7 stories on the go at once! 7!! I'm really gonna have to start ignoring those plot bunnies. So, yeah, that's why it's taking me ages! Sorry guys!**

**This chapter is going to focus completely on Howard's world.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, only I would ever see it. Mwahahahahaha…etc.**

* * *

Howard sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Well…no. No, probably not."

"Why am I not surprised?" he ran a hand down his face. "Ok, Naboo. Hit me."

"You're going to have to go through. To the other universe."

"What?!"

"Last time was a…coincidence. If we don't make sure Vince is ready to jump in the river, it might just end up with both of them being stuck over there."

"What happened to balance? I thought they couldn't be in the same universe?"

"Exactly."

Howard groaned, then a thought struck him. "But…hold on, what about Julian?"

"Hmm?"

"Well…surely me and him cant be in the same universe either?"

Naboo stayed silent for a few moments. "That's…sort of why you wont like it. This is dangerous, Howard."

"How dangerous?"

"I…it should be ok, but…look. Basically the universe is in a delicate balance. So if that balance is disturbed…well…lets just say things start to fall apart."

"Fall apart?" Howard had gone pale. "But…if I don't do this, we cant get Vince back, right?"

"Well…eventually. But not for a while."

"Then lets do it." Howard said instantly. Naboo nodded.

* * *

"This should provide you with enough power to open the portal from the other side."

Naboo smiled. "Cheers, Den."

"And I'm going to need you to give these to Julian Barratt and Mike Fielding." the head shaman said, holding out two small blue pills.

"Ok." Naboo pocketed them and walked back over to his carpet, then paused and turned back. "Wait, what are they?"

"They're to make them forget."

"Forget?"

Saboo sighed loudly. "God Naboo, are you thick or what? People can't know about the link between our worlds…"

"It would be catastrophic!" Tony Harrison added.

"Was I finished talking, Tony?" Saboo snapped.

"I don't know, do I? It sounded like you'd finished."

"Don't interrupt me Tony, or I'll send you to the Crunch."

"Oh here we go, the Crunch again. What is it with you and the Crunch?"

"How dare you bad-mouth the Crunch?"

Dennis sighed and turned back to Naboo, ignoring his bickering colleagues. "If people knew about the link between our universe and theirs, they might want to come here, take our magic and potions for themselves. The results would be devastating for both our worlds."

Naboo frowned. "I don't think they'll agree to forgetting about Vince. Besides, what about Noel? Should he be made to forget too?"

"I don't think that will be necessary. The pills should create new memories, so Julian and Mike will remember caring for Noel, and then him running off. He wakes up talking about being here, everyone remarks how amazing the human brain is, and then they all move on. Everyone wins."

"Yeah." Naboo said, thinking about the excitement in Noel's face when he talked about everything he could tell Julian about his time in the Boosh when he got home. "Everybody wins."

* * *

Howard sat on the sofa, nervously jiggling his leg. Naboo had disappeared off to sort out some last minute stuff with the shaman council, saying he'd be back by seven, and it was already ten past.

"Howard, relax." Noel muttered, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm the one having to hurl myself into a river, remember? All you need to do is fetch Vince."

Howard smiled weakly. Noel hadn't been told about the potential danger in Naboo's plan in case he decided it wasn't worth the risk. Howard didn't think he could wait any longer to see Vince again. Before the accident, he'd spent almost every day for the past 10 years with the Electro Poof, and it still felt wrong him not being here.

"You two ready?"

Howard jumped as Naboo's voice came from behind him and leapt off the sofa. "What the hell took you so long?!"

"Nothing. Sorry. Let's go."

"Are you ok Naboo?" Howard asked. The shaman's face looked strangely guarded.

"Fine. Stop wasting time."

Howard cast a look at Noel, who shrugged. He followed Naboo out of the flat and onto the carpet, unable to shake the feeling he was hiding something.

* * *

About 10 minutes later, they found themselves beside the river where Vince had first fallen in. The place all the madness had begun.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Howard?" Naboo asked, "Because once I open a portal there's no turning back."

Howard looked across at Noel and swallowed. "I'm sure."

"Ok then." he muttered a few words and the air seemed to swirl and shift in front of him. It wasn't how Howard had imagined it would be; he'd been picturing a swirling mass of colour, spiralling into the distance. This just looked sort of like a heat shimmer. "Noel." Naboo said turning. "Assuming this works, when Vince goes into the river and comes back here, you should get an urge to jump in. Don't fight it. It should happen before we get back."

"So…this is the last time I'll see you?"

"If it works, yeah."

"Oh. Wow. Ok…um….Naboo, it's been great. You've been so nice to me…I just wish I could come back here sometime."

Naboo smiled sadly. "Yeah."

"And Howard." Noel smiled. "I know we got off to a bad start, you calling me a twat and all that, but…it's been nice spending time with you. You're a decent bloke, and I'll try to be nicer to you in scripts from now on, ok?"

Howard nodded. "Sure." he grinned. "And don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I really hope I'll never see you again."

Noel laughed. "Bye Howard."

"Goodbye Noel."

The younger man stepped forwards and gave Howard a hug. Howard froze for a second before hugging him back, patting him awkwardly on the back.

"Ok, Naboo." he said when Noel stepped back. "Lets go."

The shaman grabbed hold of his arm, and together they walked into the shimmering air. Howard instantly had the strangest feeling; as if he were being pulled vertically down but without falling, almost as if gravity had been reversed.

They were off.

**

* * *

**

I'll try to update as soon as I can! Please review, I really wanna see if I can hit 100 with this story! Lol xxx


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update this! I've been really busy with stuff! Still, better late than never I suppose!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh, or Mike, Noel or Julian. Man, I wish I owned Julian…**

* * *

"Howard…"

Howard blinked, looking around. Everything seemed foggy; he could just make out vague shapes around him. What had happened? Had it gone wrong?

"Howard…"

And who was that?

"Howard you Ball-bag." he felt a light slap to his face and blinked, gasping. Suddenly the fog seemed to lift and he found himself sitting on the ground next to the river. Only Noel wasn't there anymore. Naboo was watching him anxiously. "You ok?"

"Fine. I'm fine, Naboolio." he looked around. "Did it work?"

"Of course." Naboo said indignantly, as if the idea of a spell of his going wrong was unthinkable. Howard rolled his eyes. Then the severity of the situation hit him again and he looked around desperately.

"What now? Shall we go?"

Naboo shuffled his feet. "You should, yeah."

"Ok, then…wait, what do you mean **I** should go? What about you?"

"I need to stay here. Keep the portal open. If it closes, we could be trapped."

"And you couldn't have told me this before?!" Howard bit back his anger. "Ok, fine. What's the address?"

* * *

Howard pulled the collar on his coat up higher as he walked past someone. They didn't even glance at him, but he still felt like everyone was staring. He knew he must look like a right tit, dressed in a coat, hat and sunglasses, but he knew he couldn't be seen. If anyone recognised him as Julian, things could get awkward.

He checked the piece of paper Naboo had given him, before looking up at the street name. This was it. He felt a sudden unexpected rush of fear. What if Vince wasn't here? What if Naboo had got the address wrong, and he never found him? Or worse, what if he'd got the address _right_ but Vince didn't want to see him? Or wanted to stay?

Howard shook those thoughts out of his mind and strode purposefully towards the right house number. This was ridiculous; of course Vince would want to see him. Wouldn't he? Wouldn't he have missed Howard just as much as he himself had missed Vince?

Feeling strangely nervous, Howard pressed the doorbell. He stood there for several seconds, heart pounding in his chest, before pressing it again. Just as he was beginning to think there was no-one in, he heard movement inside, and a moment later the door was pulled open by a harassed looking man.

Mike, Howard realised.

When he laid eyes on Howard, the flustered expression faded and he looked immensely relieved. "You took your time!"

"I'm sorry?"

He shepherded him into the house. "I was expecting you back about 10 minutes ago. How come you rang the bell? Lost your key?"

"Um…Mike, I'm not…"

"Vince! Ju's back."

At the mention of Vince, all thoughts of correcting Mike as to his identity paled into insignificance. He hurried into the living room and stopped dead, breath catching.

Vince was sat cross legged on the floor in front of the TV, playing on a video games console. Howard couldn't see his face, but he could just imagine the expression on his face; eyes focused, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth the way it always did when he was concentrating hard…

"Hey Julian." the younger man called, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Howard didn't reply, couldn't reply.

Seemingly wondering why he'd gotten no response, Vince turned his head as far around as it could go without his eyes leaving the screen, then quickly looked over his shoulder at Howard, before looking instantly back at the screen.

A second later, his entire body seemed to freeze.

Slowly this time, he turned his head away from the screen and looked at Howard. The car he'd been controlling crashed and burned, but Vince seemingly didn't care. He put down the controller and stood up, walking over to Howard, his eyes roaming his entire body. He stopped when he was right in front of him, looking directly into his eyes.

"Howard?" It came out as a half choked whisper.

Howard smiled, feeling a tear escape his eye and run down his cheek. "Hey, little man."

Vince reached up a hand and wiped the tear away, then let out a small sob and flung his arms around Howard's neck, burying his face in his shoulder. Howard tensed briefly at the contact, then brought his arms up around the smaller man's body, hugging him tight. It was nice, just him and Vince together again; not arguing or bickering…

Vince pulled back and grinned at him, his eyes watery and bright. "You have no idea how much I…I really…oh, Howard, I…" he rested his forehead against Howard's and closed his eyes, letting out a small hum of contentment. Howard felt his heart skip.

"Vince, I…"

He was interrupted by the front door slamming and a familiar voice calling out. "Mike? You still here? Sorry I took so long, traffic was a nightmare…"

"Julian?" Mike sounded confused. "But you just came in…"

A second later, both men burst into the living room, freezing in surprise at the sight of Howard and Vince together. Howard awkwardly removed himself from Vince's embrace and held out his hand. "Julian, I take it. Howard Moon. We spoke on the TV."

"Yeah, I…um…remember." Julian took his hand and shook it, looking slightly amused, but very puzzled. "I'm sorry, what…um…how are you here?"

"I've come to get Vince. Take him home."

Julian and Mike instantly both perked up. "And Noel?" Julian asked.

"He should come back once Vince leaves." Howard glanced at the clock. "Come on, we need to go. If me and Naboo stay here too long, it could be dangerous."

* * *

"Naboolio!" Vince yelled, running forwards and picking the shaman up in a hug. Naboo greeted this unexpected display of affection with his usual blank look, and Vince blushed slightly. "Sorry."

The shaman grinned. "Alright Vince?"

"Genius! Now that Howard and you are here everything's all good!"

Naboo smiled at Mike and Julian. "Hi. I'm Naboo."

"Yeah, I know." Mike said. "You…honestly have no idea how weird this is for me."

Howard grinned. "You think this is weird? You should have seen Noel's face when he met Tony Harrison!"

Julian snorted with laughter. "Now that I would have paid to see!" he looked at Naboo, more serious now. "What about Noel? Howard said he'd come back once Vince left?"

"Yeah. Should be pretty instant. Are you two feeling ok?"

"Not really." Julian admitted. "Headache. And…to be honest, that rivers looking pretty tempting."

"Ok, both of you need to ignore that urge." Naboo told them, "It's just because Howard and I are here. It messes up the balance." He looked over at Mike, and saw him watching Howard and Vince who were stood off to one side deep in conversation. "You're going to miss him, aren't you?"

Mike smiled. "You know, I didn't think I would, but I am. I really am."

"What if…what if there was a way to lose your memories of him? Go back to how it was before? Would you take it?"

"No. meeting Vince has changed everything. My whole perspective. I wouldn't lose that for the world. Why?"

Naboo dug in his pocket. "I need you to take these." He handed Julian and Mike a small blue pill each.

"What are they?" Julian asked, eyeing it warily.

"They're to…to…" Naboo sighed, feeling guilt twist his stomach. "They're to combat the sickness from me and Howard being here. Take them…take them after we've gone. After you've phoned for the ambulance."

Julian shrugged and pocketed it with a smile. "Oh. Ok."

* * *

"Looking forward to going home then?" Howard asked. Vince grinned at him.

"Yeah! It's been great here and everything, but I've missed all the craziness, you know?"

"If it's any consolation, it's been pretty quiet. I've not had a single death threat or been kidnapped since you left!"

"Good." Vince said seriously. "That's our thing, getting into crazy adventures. I don't want you doing anything even remotely adventurous with anyone else!"

Howard laughed, but he was only half sure Vince was joking. Vince waved over Howard's shoulder, and Howard followed his gaze to where Naboo was talking to Julian and Mike. "You going to miss them?"

Vince sighed. "Yeah. It's a shame they won't be able to come visit." he smiled. "Still, what do I need them for? I've got you. And Naboo and Bollo."

"Yeah…"

"You two ball-bags ready?" Naboo asked, surprising them both.

"Yep."

"Ok; Vince. It's very simple; all you need to do is throw yourself into the water."

Vince made a funny choking noise. "What?!"

"It'll be fine." Naboo assured him.

"You have to, Vince, or you won't be able to get home." Howard told him.

Vince looked at him for a second, and then nodded. "Ok."

"Great." Howard smiled.

"See ya, Julian! I know I thought you were a freaky stalker, but you're actually really nice. And I'm sorry about…um…you know."

"No problem." Julian told him. "It's forgotten. Bye, Vince." he stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around the younger man in a friendly hug. Looking over his shoulder, he caught Howard's eye for a split second before the other man looked away. "Talk to him." Julian whispered, so only Vince could hear.

"What?"

"Howard. Talk to him. I think you might be surprised."

Vince pulled away, looking at him with a confused expression. Julian smiled encouragingly, and Vince grinned, suddenly looking slightly bashful.

He turned to Mike. "Mike! It's been great! I'm going to miss you."

"You too."

"And I know you cant exactly say bye to your mum for me, but tell her…tell her it was nice seeing her."

"I will."

"Bye." Vince said, smiling sadly and patting his shoulder.

"Yeah." Mike frowned suddenly and gripped his stomach. "I don't feel so good."

Naboo looked alarmed and glanced at the sky, which had very quickly turned an ominous shade of grey/black.

"Shit." he muttered. "We've been here too long already. Vince, hurry up!"

Vince nibbled his lip nervously, looking into the dark depths of the river. "And this'll definitely work, yeah?"

"Not definitely. But it's the best chance we've got."

Vince looked up. "So, if it doesn't work I might not see you again for ages?"

"No. But we'll find something, I promise."

"Right then." Vince turned to Howard and grabbed his face, crushing their lips together. The kiss lasted for over 10 seconds, before Vince pulled slowly back. "See you on the other side." he said quietly. He gave Julian a quick conspirative glance and a wink, and then took a deep breath and threw himself into the water.

Julian looked at the others and had to fight down the urge to laugh. Mike and Naboo were wearing identical surprised expressions, and Howard was stood completely frozen, blinking in shock.

"Erm…portal?" Julian murmured, poking Naboo's arm. The shaman shook himself.

"Right. Yeah. Gotta go home. Call for an ambulance now, Noel should be back any minute."

"Right. Bye then."

"Bye." he turned. "Come on, Howard!"

The older man still stood frozen. Naboo heard a crash in the distance. Looking around, he saw a crack in the road that he was sure hadn't been there before… he felt himself go cold. "Howard, hurry up!" he said urgently, a hint of panic entering his usually monotone voice.

Howard looked around and stared at him blankly, then seemed to snap out of it. "Yes! Sorry." he looked at Julian and Mike. "Bye. Thanks for looking after Vince."

"You're welcome."

Howard joined Naboo next to the portal, and together they walked back through to their world.


	14. Chapter 14

**I promised SisiDraig a quick update (even if she did sort of cheat lol), and I do try and keep my promises!**

**Lol, this was originally only going to be a short chapter, but somehow it's managed wangle it's way into becoming over 1800 words…never mind. I'm sure no-one's gonna complain!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. Oh, the things I would do if it was… ;)**

* * *

Howard recovered a lot quicker this time, and was completely lucid almost as quickly as Naboo. He looked around. The two of them were alone by the riverbank.

"Did it work?"

"I don't know." he pulled out a phone (even though Howard didn't know where he'd been keeping it because he didn't seem to have any pockets) and phoned for an ambulance and the fire brigade.

Howard spent the next 5 minutes staring anxiously into the depths of the river, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of the electro poof.

What if it went wrong? What if Vince drowned? Or was under too long and suffered brain damage? Howard wasn't stupid; he knew just how lucky both Vince and Noel had been last time around to make full recoveries. Would they be so lucky second time around?

He was jerked out of his thoughts by the fire engine pulling in, followed about three minutes later by an ambulance.

15 minutes later, Howard watched as they pulled a small body from the water. He couldn't tell if it was Vince or Noel. He thought it might be Vince…although that might have just been wishful thinking. Well, he supposed he'd find out soon enough, once the man woke up…

"He's not breathing, and there's no pulse. Commence CPR."

Howard's own heart almost stopped when he heard those words. He shot a horror-stricken look at Naboo, and saw his own feeling plainly mirrored on the shaman's face.

"Come on, Vince." he whispered. "Don't die on me. Not now. Not after all this…" as if that made any difference. Had he ever told Vince how much he cared? Looking at his lifeless body now, Howard wasn't sure he ever had. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let 10 years go past without telling Vince what he meant to him? Even this past year, when Vince had seemed to be getting bored of him, Howard hadn't stopped caring. You just couldn't _not_ care about someone like Vince. Even when he'd been at his worst, and Howard had felt angry and upset enough to consider jacking it all in and moving on; Vince would suddenly sidle up to him and beg him to watch Colobus the Crab with him, giving him his perfectly practised pout, and Howard would feel his heart soften. It was just impossible to stay mad at him when he was looking up at him with those big blue eyes through his fringe…

"Howard?" He looked around and saw Naboo was standing next to him. "Howard, do you want to go with him in the ambulance?"

Howard nodded, not trusting himself to speak. As he sat down in the cramped space, the paramedic looked at him.

"Are you ok? You look like you might be in shock."

"I'm fine. Vince is the one not fucking breathing." he snapped. He let out a small sigh. "Sorry."

"That's alright."

Howard watched as she tried everything she could to get his heart started again, to get him breathing again. It couldn't be too late. He had to be ok. What about what Naboo said about them being the centre of the Universe? Vince couldn't not be there any more. They'd been Howard-and-Vince for so long now, he wasn't sure he even remembered how to be just Howard. Having Noel there instead had been hard enough, and even he was very like Vince…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Howard walked quickly through the hospital corridors, keeping pace with the trolley. They'd managed to get Vince's heart started again in the ambulance, but it had stopped again.

"Can you wait out here please." a nurse ordered, putting out an arm to stop Howard and Naboo following Vince into the emergency room.

"I want to stay with him…"

She smiled sympathetically. "It's best if you just let the doctors do their jobs. Would you like me to show you to the relatives' room?"

"No. No, I'll wait here."

"Ok." she smiled and walked into after Vince.

Howard wasn't sure how long they sat there in silence. It felt like hours, days even. Eventually, Naboo spoke.

"He can't die." Naboo whispered. "They can't let him…"

"I know…"

"If he's not here anymore, the paradox would still be in effect. All this might as well never have happened."

Howard looked up in shock. "Is that all you _fucking_ care about?! That's Vince in there, my Vince, our friend, fighting for his life! And all you care about is a fucking _theory_?!"

"Of course I care! But it's like I said, if you two aren't together then the effects on the Universe could be…"

"I DON'T CARE!" Howard turned to the shaman, face anguished. "If he dies, I've got no-one. Do you have any idea what that's like?! If he dies, the Universe can go to shit because there's nothing in it for me anymore!"

"Howard, I'm…"

"Don't Naboo. Just…don't." Howard pushed open the door to the ER and hurried over to Vince.

"Can someone get him out of here please!"

"I won't interfere, please, just let me stay." Howard begged.

The doctor looked at him. "Are you family?"

"No, just a friend, but I'm all he's got."

"Howard Moon?"

"Yes. How did you…?"

"You're down as Vince's next of kin."

Howard blinked, more tears threatening to overwhelm him. He hadn't known that.

The doctor laid a hand comfortingly on his arm. "I'm very sorry. It's been over 40 minutes. We're not going to get him back."

"One more round. Please."

"I think we should stop…"

"_Please_!" Howard begged. "Please, just try one more set of chest compressions. It's Vince. He's all I've got. Please try. Please."

The doctor looked over at one of the nurses. Even through his tears Howard could tell they thought they were wasting their time. "Resuming CPR." He said, and Howard sighed.

"Thank you." He watched anxiously, before reaching out and taking Vince's hand, ignoring the request for him to step back. "Come on, Vince. Breathe. Don't leave me…"

"I'm really sorry. He's gone. I really do think we should stop. Does everyone ag…" The doctor looked down in alarm when Vince let out a sudden cough. Hand shaking slightly, he placed two fingers against his neck. "Pulse…pulse is weak and thready, but present. And he's breathing." he looked at Vince for several seconds, looking completely surprised. Then he looked up at Howard and smiled. "We got him back."

Howard let out a sob of relief, and collapsed weakly into a chair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince opened his eyes and looked around his hospital room. His gaze rested on the man slumped over in his chair. From this angle, Vince couldn't tell if it was Howard or Julian. He closed his eyes, praying to a God he wasn't sure he believed in that it had worked, that he was home.

"Howard?" he asked softly, opening his eyes once more.

The head jerked up as though Vince had applied an electric current. In an instant, he was standing beside the bed. "Vince? Vince, oh God, tell me that's you."

"Of course it's me. You couldn't copy this level of perfection." he laughed shakily.

Howard smiled at him, and ran his fingers through Vince's long hair, half expecting to be told to leave it alone. "You're ok. Everything's ok. You have no idea how much I…oh God. This whole thing has just been so surreal…"

"Hmm." Vince murmured, suddenly tired. "Talk about it later. I'm just gonna have a little sleepy."

_How can I tell you how it felt when I almost lost you…?_ "Of…of course. I'll see you later little man."

* * *

Julian sat, once again, on one of the plastic hospital chairs nursing a crap polystyrene cup of coffee. This situation felt way too familiar. If he wasn't careful, he was going to become one of those people that had a huge aversion to hospitals…

"Julian! What the hell happened?!"

He looked up to see Dee hurrying towards him. Oh, shit. He'd forgotten to ring her. He supposed Mike must have done it.

"He ran away. Thought he could 'get home'. It wasn't our fault, we couldn't stop him…"

"Not your fault?! He could have died!"

"Dee, listen…"

She slapped him. Hard.

Julian took a deep breath, and then righted his head and looked at her.

"I'm sorry." she said, tears suddenly running down her cheek.

"It's ok."

She wiped her face and leant her head against his shoulder. Julian brought an arm up and wrapped it comfotingly round her. "No, it's not, I'm really sorry. Of course it wasn't your fault. I mean, what were you supposed to have done, kept him chained up? I just…I've already lost him once. I don't think I could lose him again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Noel groaned and opened his eyes. He was alone in the room, but he could hear voices talking quietly outside. "Hello?" he called out. Instantly, the voices stopped. A few seconds later the door was pushed open, and a woman walked into the room. Dee. Noel could tell she'd been crying, and wondered how long she'd been out there.

"You're awake!" she said happily, but didn't come over.

Noel smiled. "What, do I not even get a kiss from my girlfriend?"

She blinked, shocked, then walked over to the bed. "You remember me? You remember who you are?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

She leant down and kissed him, tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, God, Noel, I've been so scared. Don't ever do that to me again, understand?"

"I wasn't planning on leaping into rivers again any time soon, don't worry." he glanced at the door. "Are Ju and Mike out there?" Noel couldn't wait to tell them everything that had happened in the Boosh world, and to hear everything about Vince. He really wished he could have met his alter ego, it would have been fun. Like hanging out with yourself, only not sad.

"Julian's here. I think Mike went to phone your mum."

She went and pushed the door open, beckoning someone inside. Julian walked in a second later, an anxious smile on his face. "How are you mate?"

"He remembers, he remembers everything!" Dee told him with a grin. "He's back!"

Julian looked thrilled. "Do…you remember anything about after the accident? What was that like?"

Noel frowned slightly, glancing at Dee, then back to Julian. "What do you mean?"

"You were going around convinced you were Vince. Thought I was Howard, then when you realised I wasn't, thought I'd kidnapped you."

Noel blinked. "I…no I didn't! I was in the Nabootique, in their universe, I…" he broke off at the expressions on their faces.

"Wow!" Dee said eventually. "How amazing is that?!" She laughed.

"You ran away from Mike and me this morning. Told us if you jumped in the river you'd get home again. We couldn't stop you." he smiled. "Although I suppose in a way you did get home."

"Yeah." Noel felt a ridiculous wave of disappointment crash over him.

It hadn't been real after all…

* * *

**The review button has cookies!**

**Only one more chapter I think! I'm gonna miss this, I can still remember coming up with the idea for the first chapter...so long ago! Lol.**

**xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! Hope it's gonna be fabulous!**

**Final chapter now up, and it's my longest yet! I'm torn as to whether to be happy or sad that I've managed to finish it. First chapter up of 2009!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mighty Boosh, or Noel, or Julian. If I did, this would be the happiest new year EVER!**

* * *

"…and they had a moon, right, but it was just made of _rock_! It didn't talk or anything! Just sort of…sat there!"

"Weird."

"And there were so many cars, Howard! You'd never let me drive the van in that much traffic, even though I'm a good driver you know. Hey, why don't you let me drive home once they let me out? I can prove it then!"

"We'll see."

"Genius. Oh, and you'll never guess what…"

Howard smiled as Vince began to tell him yet more stuff which was different between their world and the other one. He still couldn't believe how close he'd come to losing the younger man. He'd spoken to the doctor, and he'd been amazed at Vince's recovery. He'd said that the chances of a full recovery after not breathing for as long as Vince had were so rare there weren't even statistics…Howard shuddered at the thought of what that would have been like; if Vince had woken up brain damaged. Howard would have looked after him, of course, would have dedicated his life to him because without Vince he had no life. But the thought of him not being quite the same…not being able to talk or something…Howard couldn't imagine it.

"…hello? Earth to Howard? Are you even listening to me?"

"Erm…yes!"

"What did I just say?"

"Something about…cheese?"

Vince rolled his eyes affectionately. "So what was he like? Noel? Was he like me?"

Howard shrugged. "Kind of. A bit more…" he hesitated, not wanting to say 'intelligent' in case Vince got offended, "…street-wise."

Vince raised an eyebrow at the term, but didn't comment.

"What about Julian? Was he like me?"

To his surprise, Vince blushed slightly. "Um…yeah, kind of. Only a 'you' with fashion sense."

"Oi! Cheeky tit."

"You love it."

Their eyes met, and Howard suddenly felt awkward, remembering what Vince had done before jumping in the river… "Anyway," he cleared his throat, "you should probably make the most of lying around in bed. Naboo's gonna have you back in the shop as soon as you're discharged I reckon!"

"Yeah." Vince looked down at his chest. "When are they discharging me?"

"Um…I'm not sure. You seem perfectly fine, but I think all the doctors are still amazed you're breathing so…"

"What?!" Vince said sharply.

Howard paled. He hadn't meant to blurt that out. No-one had told Vince that he died.

"You…you were underwater for a long time. You…you died. For about 45 minutes. They almost called it on you."

"They almost…" Vince swallowed, shocked. He'd died. He'd _died_. He knew he'd stopped breathing first time around, but no-one had made a big deal of it. "45 minutes?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. Fuck."

"Are you ok?" Howard reached out and took his hand.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." he hesitated. "I thought I saw my mum."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. I must have been dreaming or something, but…it was nice. And I wanted to go with her. But then I heard you telling me to breathe, and you said you needed me, and I realised I couldn't leave you." he smiled softly and squeezed Howard's hand. "I'd never leave you."

Howard smiled, then gently withdrew his hand. Looking over at the door, he failed to notice the disappointed look on Vince's face.

"Visiting hours are over little man. I'll come back and see you again tomorrow."

"Sure. See you."

Howard pulled the door closed behind him, and leant against the wall breathing hard. What Vince had said…he'd heard him. He, Howard, had saved him. He'd brought him back.

* * *

Noel lay on his hospital bed staring at the ceiling. He honestly couldn't remember a time he'd felt so out of control. He had been so certain it was real…but, if it had been real; surely Julian and Mike would have known about it?

He wasn't even sure if he was happy to be back. Sure, he'd wanted to when he was in the Boosh world…but that was then. That was when he was coming back to his own world having been trapped in another world. But now…now he was just…what, exactly? Was he mad? He didn't think so, after all he felt sane. But it was one thing to go somewhere else when in a coma, and he hadn't _been_ in a coma. He'd been awake and telling people he was Vince…

The door to his room opened, and Noel looked up and forced a smile. "Hey, Ju! What's up?"

"How're you feeling?" Julian asked, smiling and taking a seat next to his friend.

"Absolutely fine! I'm thinking they might let me out soon, actually." it wasn't quite a lie. He was physically fine, after all. But mentally…Well, that was another story. For one glorious moment of time he'd truly believed that it was all real. That there was more out there. And it turned out he'd just been living in his own mind.

"I'm glad." Julian said, sitting down next to him. "Dee still around?"

"No, she left ages ago. Why?"

"I've got something for you."

"Oh?" Noel did his best to try and look interested.

"Here." Julian handed over a small wooden box. Noel took it with a slight frown.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I was told to pass it on by…a mutual friend."

Noel shrugged, confused, then undid the clasp and opened the box. Inside was a large silver pendant which he instantly recognised as exactly like one Vince had owned. And underneath…was a photo. Of Naboo, Howard, Bollo and Vince. Although…

Noel turned the picture over.

'_**Hope you're feeling ok, Noel. I really hope you get this, because it means everything worked out. Naboo.'**_

'_**Hey, Noel. In a weird way I'm sort of going to miss you (although I can't wait to see Vince!). Good luck with the film and everything, and if you don't be as nice as possible to us, I'll come at ya like a buzzard! Howard x'**_

'_**Noel not as nice as precious Vince. But Bollo like him anyway. Bollo.'**_

Noel read and re-read the messages, his hand shaking. He looked up at Julian. "What…?"

The older man smiled. "Naboo thought you might like it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_They're to…to…" Naboo sighed. "They're to combat the sickness from me and Howard being here. Take them…take them after we've gone. After you've phoned for the ambulance."_

"_Oh. Ok."_

_Naboo turned to go, and seemed to hesitate, watching Vince and Howard talking. Vince looked over and waved, and Julian waved back._

"_Wait." Naboo said suddenly, turning back._

"_What?" Mike asked._

"_I lied. They're nothing to do with combating sickness. They're to take your memories."_

_Julian and Mike exchanged a look. "Excuse me?" Julian said, confused._

"_The shaman council don't think you should be allowed to remember Vince. They think if people knew about the link between worlds they'd abuse it."_

"_But we wouldn't do that!"_

"_But Dennis doesn't know that, does he?! I've been ordered under shaman law to give you those pills."_

"_Why are you telling us this?" Mike asked. "If you'd kept quiet, we'd have taken them anyway."_

"_That wouldn't have been fair." Naboo looked back at Vince. "You've both been such good friends to him. It feels sneaky taking your memories without telling you."_

"_But…I don't want to forget." Julian protested. "I like knowing there's more. I needed this."_

"_Me too!" Mike chimed in._

"_But it's not like anything changes! You can't come through again, or tell anyone about this! Surely its better that you forget?" Naboo pleaded_

"_I…I don't…" Julian looked down at the small pill._

_Naboo looked over at Howard and Vince again, and an idea struck him. "I've given you the pills…" he began slowly._

"_So?"_

"_So…technically my part is done. I gave them to you, and told you a lie to get you to take them. That's all I was charged to do. If you were to…I don't know…lie to me, or drop the pill so you cant eat it…"_

"…_then you couldn't be held responsible." Julian finished, catching on._

"_Exactly." Naboo smiled. "Now it's up to you."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It _was_ real." Noel breathed. "I was really there? You really had Vince?"

"Yep."

Noel thought about this for a second, then reached out and hit Julian's arm. "You wanker! You absolute fucking wanker! Why didn't you tell me before?! I've been lying here thinking I'd been living in my head! That sort of thing really messes people up you know! Bastard."

Julian smiled. "Sorry. But, you know, we had to keep up the pretence. This is the first time I've been alone with you since the accident."

Noel realised he was right, and supposed it would be a little bit childish to continue holding a grudge. Besides, he was excited to talk about it. He wanted to know everything that had happened.

"So…what was he like?" he asked eagerly. "Vince, I mean?"

Julian considered. "He was very…sweet. Very naïve. Very series 1, if you ask me."

"Well, we've had less hold on them since then." Noel reasoned, "I guess that's, like, his real nature."

"What, rather than a tit?"

"Yeah. Hey, Ju?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we should…I dunno…make him nicer for the film? Not go right back to series 1 or anything, I mean, we gotta think about character development…but maybe not quite so harsh to Howard?"

Julian smiled. "I think they'd like that." his mind drifted back to Vince's confession, after he'd kissed him. "I think they'd like that a lot."

"Why're you smiling like that?" Noel asked suspiciously. "It's well creepy."

"Nothing."

"You know something. What are you grinning at?"

"Let's just say that…you know how some people like to read subtext in the show? Well, Vince…would rather it was text."

"Subtext? What're you on about you northern…" Noel's eyes narrowed, then his eyebrows shot up. "Hold on…subtext…you mean Vince…? Vince and Howard…? Vince and _Howard_?"

Julian nodded, still grinning.

"Wow, that's…weird. Very, very weird. How do you know, anyway?"

Julian merely smiled, and refused to say another word.

* * *

"Alright Howard?" Vince asked cheerfully, bounding into the shop. Howard glanced at the clock with a small grin.

"You know, I'm never going to get used to you being on time and eager to work."

Vince stuck his tongue out. "Yeah, well make the most of it coz I'm sure the novelty's going to wear off soon. I'm still happy not to be under house arrest!"

"You haven't really gone out that much since getting back though, have you?"

"That's not the point. I could if I wanted to, I just don't want to. Cant really afford it anyway." he laughed suddenly, "Hey, maybe I should have got Ju to write it into a script that Naboo gives us a huge pay rise!"

Howard looked at him for a second, then smiled weakly and sat down behind the counter. "I'm never going to get used to that you know. Knowing we're not actually real. That someone created us."

"They didn't create all of us though, did they?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well…" Vince wrinkled up his nose in thought. "They didn't write anything about my mum's suicide. They didn't know I could drive. In fact, in the show it's stated that I _can't _drive."

Howard thought about this, and his smile strengthened. "Yeah. You're right! Nobody creates Howard Moon, sir, he's his own person."

Vince felt his heart flutter at Howard's voice. It always sounded so…sexy when he was happy. It sounded sexy all the time but…he swallowed nervously, watching Howard out of the corner of his eye and thinking about what Julian had said. That had to be wishful thinking, surely? Why would someone like Howard be interested in a shallow fashion victim like him? Not to mention the fact that Howard was straight… he got up and began to rearrange items on one of the shelves. He almost jumped when he felt Howard's arm wrap gently around his waist. He looked down at the arm, then up into the jazz maverick's smiling face.

Howard reached out a hand and brushed a lock of hair off of Vince's face.

"I can't believe I almost lost you."

"You'll never lose me, Howard."

Howard grinned. "It made me realise how much you really mean to me."

Vince felt his heart skip. "Yeah?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah. You're my best friend, Vince. I know we've been through some shit lately, but…you're the most important person in my life. Your friendship means the world to me."

"Right. Yeah, you're my best friend too, Howard." Vince's heart sank. Of course Howard thought he was his best friend, what else had Vince been expecting?

"Vince? You ok little man?"

"Yeah. Genius."

"No you're not. Come on, what're you thinking?"

Vince looked up into the jazz maverick's face. His warm brown eyes were full of concern. Vince licked his lips. "I can think of another thing Noel and Julian didn't create about us."

"Oh?"

"They didn't make me do this." before he could think about what he was doing and stop himself; Vince stood on tip-toe and pressed a kiss to Howard's lips.

The next second Howard was gently pushing him away. "Vince, what're you doing?"

"I…I don't know. I just thought…"

"Vince…" Howard ran a hand through his hair, looking like he was trying to think how to phrase something.

"No! Just…forget it ever happened, yeah?" Vince pleaded. He couldn't bare Howard's rejection. "Just…oh God, I'm sorry." tears pooling behind his eyes, he turned and fled back upstairs.

Howard stared helplessly around the shop, before turning the sign round to 'closed' and following his friend upstairs. After a quick look around the flat, Howard realised the skylight was open. Vince must be on the roof. Walking over, he pushed it further and clambered out.

"Vince?"

Vince quickly rubbed his hands under his eyes and sniffed. "Sorry. Sorry, I'm fine now. You can go back down to the shop."

"Do you…want to talk about that?"

"Not really. Just forget it happened."

"What did just happen?"

"I…I just thought…I don't…damn it!" Vince turned his head away, "I never should have listened to Julian!"

"Julian? What's he got to do with anything?" Howard asked, completely baffled.

"I…well, I um…he knew how I felt - how I _feel_ - about you, and he said I should talk to you about it."

"So talk to me."

Vince looked up sharply, but he couldn't see pity or disgust on Howard's face, so he decided to go for it. "I think I'm in love with you."

Howard's eyes widened in surprise. Whatever he'd expected Vince to say, it wasn't that. "You're what?!"

"I…I'm in love with you." he looked away, unable to look at Howard, "Have been for ages."

"Why…why didn't you say anything?"

Vince smiled. "Why would I? You've never shown any interest in me, and I'm not about to wreck our friendship over something like that."

"But living with something like that…were you ever going to say anything?"

Vince shrugged. "No. I guess not."

Howard was looking at him as if he'd never seen him before and Vince felt himself blushing. "Please just forget it Howard. Let's just be happy I'm back and we're ok, yeah?"

"What if I'm not ok with that?"

"Howard, I know you. As soon as someone's nice to you, you fixate on them. I mean, look at Gideon! All she did was lend you money for a sandwich on your first day at the zoo and you practically stalked her until the zoo closed! But all it takes is someone else and you move on. Like you did at your party."

Howard looked away, only just realising what that must have done to Vince. To have the love of your life tell you they love you and then three minutes later say it was a mistake and cop off with the someone else…what had he been thinking? Even if Vince didn't have feelings for him that was unacceptable. And strangely out of character.

_Out of character_…

"Was that me though?"

"Howard, what're you on about? You've not got an evil twin you know."

"No, I mean…Noel and Julian have control. What if it was them?"

"Was it?" Vince looked at him, and for the first time in his life Howard maintained eye contact without feeling uncomfortable.

"I don't know." Howard admitted. Vince's gaze dropped. "But I do know that I can't imagine my life without you. And I know that I've hated how we've drifted apart." he blushed. "And…when you kissed me in their world…it wasn't horrible."

Vince chuckled. "Thanks!"

"I don't mean it like that, I mean…it felt…normal."

Vince looked up at him, frowning slightly. "What exactly are you saying here?"

"This is coming out wrong…I…oh, to hell with it." Howard leant forwards and cupped Vince's face, kissing him softly.

Vince pulled his head back. "Howard…"

"This isn't a reaction to what you've said. I'm not going to change my mind as soon as a girl flutters her eyelashes."

"But you're not gay."

Howard frowned. "No…I mean, I've never been with another man. But I know how I feel about you."

"And how do you feel?"

Howard smiled at him, and Vince suddenly felt warmer. "You're my everything."

Vince grinned and leaned forwards, capturing Howard's lips in a gentle kiss, before resting his head against the bigger man's shoulder. Howard wrapped an arm around him and together they looked out over London.

Of course, Naboo would give them hell later for closing the shop 9 hours early, but right now nothing else mattered. They were back together. Two sides of the coin. Two halves of a person.

And nothing was going to break that up again.

_**

* * *

**_

So, boys. Filming starts on your new movie next month. Are you excited?

**Noel: **_Yeah, we are. It's been hectic writing it, but I think it's worth it._

**Julian: **_oh yeah, definitely._

_**Can you give us any plot details?**_

**N: **_Well we don't want to give too much away…_

**J: **_We tried to do something a bit different to just one long episode of the Boosh. There was always the risk that it wouldn't translate right, but I'm confident it's a good script._

**N: **_And there are some bits that are going to make a lot of fans very happy._

_**Ooh! Happy in the same way that Party made them happy? (Party, the fifth episode of the third series, involved an onscreen kiss between characters Howard Moon and Vince Noir.)**_

**N: **_(winks) wait and see!_

_**Would you say you had any influences when it came to what you wrote?**_

**N: **_There are a couple of people who had a big influence (glances at Julian, and both smirk). Yeah, without these two guys I think it would have turned out very differently._

_**Are we allowed to know who they are?**_

**J: **_if we told you we'd have to kill you. Sorry. (Both laugh)_

_**So, that's that. I've had laughs, flirting, and death threats. Just a normal interview with the Mighty Boosh boys then!**_

**

* * *

**

Big thanks to everyone who's reviewed/favourited/alerted this story! And to everyone who's read/will read it :)

**Hope you all enjoyed it! It's gonna seem strange not writing this any more…**

**Reviews are loved like strawberry bootlaces :)**


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